


Surreptitious

by DarkNymfa



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: (but broken into smaller pieces for navigational ease), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Megamind gets powers AU, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-26 00:49:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 34,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20921426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkNymfa/pseuds/DarkNymfa
Summary: Megamind designed the gun to create his biggest enemy. And, in a way, it did.





	1. Hey world, look at me

**Author's Note:**

> Me? Writing fanfic for a fandom that isn't Danny Phantom? It's more likely than you think. I wrote Surreptitious here in I think about a week, total? 3 days for the first 15, 3 days for the last 13.5k, and the rest scattered throughout the months in-between.
> 
> Anyway, Megamind has been my favorite movie for years, and I finally had an idea I thought would be worth writing. I'm going to break it up into chapters because people apparently like it that way (because finding your spot is easier this way, I believe?), but it was written as a one-shot, and intended to be read as a one-shot, if it can be managed. If your time or focus doesn't allow for 35.000 words, though, reading it in the smaller bits should also work just fine.
> 
> The not-chapter titles are lyrics from "You're Gonna Know My Name" by Watt White, which is _such_ a Megamind song that it kills me.
> 
> On final note, I have basically 0 experience writing romances, soooo... I went into this intending to keep it vague enough that it could be read as either platonic or romantic, but it got away from me.

The elevator stopped, and Roxanne exited onto the glass catwalk that connected the two wings of the museum. The glass circled around the enormous, slowly-turning statue of Metro Man.

She didn’t remember why she had come here, exactly. She had wanted to check out the exhibit, yes. But this wasn’t… this wasn’t what she had had in mind. She had just felt the sudden compulsion to come up here, to see… to see _Wayne_. Even if it was just a statue.

But now that she was here… she couldn’t help but talk to him. Or, well, to herself. Since the statue wasn’t Wayne.

“What are we supposed to do?” she asked him. “Without you, evil is running rampant through the streets.”

She paused, as if waiting for an answer that wouldn’t come. Then she sighed, and continued, “Someone has to stop Megamind.”

A squeak next to her startled her out of her introspection, and she wheeled around to see… oh, lord, what was his name again? Something with a B. Barry?… with a cart full of books. “Hey, we’re closing soon.”

“Oh, you scared me! Barry, right?”

“Bernard,” he corrected dully, his eyes half-lidded in exhaustion. Whether at her or at the general circumstances, she didn’t know.

“Bernard. I was just…” She made a face, gesturing vaguely. “Well, I was… talking to myself. You probably think I’m a little bit nuts.”

“I’m not allowed to insult guests directly.” His expression didn’t change, and briefly, she wondered if it was supposed to be a joke. She knew Bernard, of course, but… not all that well, admittedly.

“Thank you,” she ended up settling on. “Uh, just… Bernard, I’ll just be another minute.”

He sighed, dramatically heavy, but answered her with an, “Okay.”

“Thanks.” She shot him a brief smile, but he ignored it as he continued on his round. The wheels of the cart squeaked as he left.

She let herself hang on the railing for a few moments longer. Then she caught an… echo? Was someone else here, talking to the statue of Metro Man – of Wayne? She perked up, but realized she couldn’t see them. The enormous rotating statue blocked sight from one side of the walkway to the other.

Unable to stamp down her reporter instincts – or her curiosity – she started circling around the statue. If someone else was here, talking to the statue, maybe they were… thinking of the same thing?

“Hello?” she called out, ears perked for this other person. She thought she could their voice, vaguely, but it was too quiet to make out what they were saying. “Hello?”

But as she walked around the statue, there was no one else she could see. Had they run from her?

She had almost made it all the way around, back to the elevator she had come from, when she caught sight of something. A flash of white light, and a soft hum?

“Hello, is someone there?” she repeated, crossing her fingers that it wouldn’t be something bad. It wasn’t Megamind, she didn’t think; he would’ve come and faced her.

The cart that Bernard had been wheeling around stood there, seemingly abandoned. A few books laid scattered around it on the floor.

“Hello? Who’s there?” she repeated again, more firmly. She had a bad feeling about this.

Then Bernard popped up from behind the cart, and she startled to a stop.

“Oh!” She laughed, a little embarrassed at herself. Here she was, worrying about nothing. Of course it was just Bernard, she had _known_ he was there!

“Whoo!” She clutched one hand to her chest, still grinning a little. “It’s just you, Bernard.”

“Oh, yes! It’s just me, _Bernard_.” He emphasized his name, and, really, she couldn’t blame him. She _had_ accidentally called him the wrong name just minutes ago, after all.

“Well, thank you for… letting me stay.” She watched as he darted away from the cart, towards the elevator. Why had he… abandoned it?

“Look, I wouldn’t stay here for more than two minutes and thirty-seven seconds if I were you.” He started mashing the call button, summoning the elevator, and she caught herself frowning at the action. “We’re having the walls and ceiling removed.”

“Wow, that sounds like… quite the renovation.” She glanced around, curious now. The museum had only just opened, after all. Did Megamind have a hand in this after all? “I guess I’ll, um… catch a ride down with you then.”

And she quickly darted into the elevator as well, just before the doors closed. Bernard laughed, uncertainly, but didn’t comment.

As the two of them rode down the elevator, she huffed out a breath. Then, no longer able to stand the awkward silence, she said, “I kept thinking he was gonna do one of his last-minute escapes.”

Bernard’s shoulders slumped. “Yeah,” he agreed. “He was really good at those.”

“Oh, if only the world had a reset button.”

“I’ve looked into the reset button,” Bernard said. Then his face twisted into something sad, something close to tears, as he followed it up with, “The science is impossible.”

“Bernard…” The elevator dinged, and he slunk out. She followed him, hands uncertainly raised. “I didn’t know you had… feelings.” She withstood the desire to kick herself at that. Really, what a thing to say to someone if they looked upset! “Are you okay?”

“Metro Man’s gone.” He shrugged off the hand she had placed on his shoulder, but didn’t move to do it again as she patted him instead. “And now there’s no one left to challenge Megamind.”

“Oh… Come on, Bernard.” She stepped up next to him on the escalator, turned slightly so she could face him. “As long as there’s evil, good _will_ rise up against it.”

“Oh, I wish.” He gestured broadly, before slumping his shoulders down once more. His voice was heavy, sad. She had… honestly never heard him speak like this before.

Grasping his upper arm, she tried for some cheer in her own voice. “I believe someone is gonna stand up to Megamind.”

“You really think so?” he asked her, a hint of hope in his tone.

“Yeah! It’s like they say, “Heroes aren’t born, they’re made”.”

He paused, a few steps away from the escalator they had come down on. “Heroes can be made,” he repeated, voice a little uncertain. Uncertain, but… hopeful?

“That’s it! All you need are the right ingredients!” he said, perking up visibly, his eyes widening behind the round glasses. As he turned towards some of the exhibits next to them, she followed his vision – and his thoughts.

“Yeah! Bravery,” she pointed at some of the heroic statues next to them.

“Yes!” he agreed with a nod.

“Strength.”

“Of course!”

“Determination.”

“Imperative!” And now he turned away again, towards the large plastic display of a DNA strand. “And a smidgen of DNA,” he muttered, below his breath. “Oh, with that, anyone can be a hero!”

“Yeah!” she agreed, watching him speed towards her again. Then, suddenly, he grabbed her around her waist, and, laughing, raised her in the air for a brief moment.

As he put her down, his watch beeped, and he glanced at it. Then, with a wide smile still on his face, he said, “I think we should run.”

They raced out of the building, and she jumped into a waiting taxi. Bernard remained on the sidewalk, waving as he shouted after her. “Bye!”

Her taxi had barely been down the street when a loud explosion rocked it. Concerned, she turned around in the seat. A huge plume of flame and ash and smoke rose from the museum, and she couldn’t help her dart of worry for Bernard. But this must’ve been Megamind’s doing, and if the villain did anything, it was ensure that no civilians were ever hurt in his plots. In fact, no one ever got hurt.

Not until… not until Metro Man.

* * *

Roxanne was done waiting. She had waited for years, time after time, for Metro Man to come save her. Sure, sometimes she managed to get away from Megamind on her own, but as time moved on he got better and better at securing her and preventing such a thing.

Now, there was no hero to come get her.

But that was okay. Or it would be, at least.

Last night, she had told Bernard that heroes weren’t born but made. And, sure, she had said it to cheer him up a little. But then he’d gotten enthusiastic, and, well. She couldn’t help but agree with him.

All you needed were the right ingredients; bravery, strength, and determination. And, as her fingers curled into a fist, she couldn’t help but think: I have that. I can stand up to Megamind.

So she did. She set out to find his Evil Lair, once and for all. She was ready to spent days, weeks, months, searching for it. After all, the police department – and Metro Man – hadn’t found it despite years trying.

Actually finding Megamind’s hideout was a little anti-climatic, really. She knew it had a straight line of vision to the now-destroyed observatory, and a vague idea of what direction it laid in. And, once there, well.

The only building with a fake observatory on the roof wasn’t all that hard to find.

She stepped out of the van, her fingers clenching around a photo camera. On the other side, Hal hovered, clearly hesitant but trying not to make it obvious.

Honestly, she kind of regretted bringing him along. She had wanted to share the moment, her excitement, but… but not with Hal, really. If only there was someone else just as interested in taking down Megamind as her…

Bernard! Of course! She had his phone number, still, from an interview she had done a while back. She could give him a call, and then he could come here while she started her investigation of Megamind’s lair. After all, her first drive-around with Hal hadn’t revealed any entrances.

Roxanne flipped open her phone, quickly scrolling through her contacts to find Bernard. A swift press of the button and it started dialing, and she leaned back against the van. Hal would get upset, probably, but she didn’t really care.

Finally the line connected, Bernard answering the call with, “Ollo.” Then, almost immediately, correcting himself to, “Hello?”

“Bernard, it’s Roxanne.” She paused, wandering to the building to start circling it. “I just wanted to thank you for inspiring me the other day.”

“Oh.” His voice softened. “You inspired me, too.”

“Great! It’s time we stood up to Megamind and show him he can’t push us around.” She glanced back to the van, but Hal was still occupied with checking his tech. Good.

“Really?”

“I’m already hot on his trail,” she added, cocking her head at the graffiti’d brick walls. Nothing stood out, no clear markings of false walls or anything.

“Uh huh. And what gives you that idea?”

“I just found his secret hideout!” She smiled to herself a little, happy to tell someone who would share some of her enthusiasm, finally. That, and hopefully Megamind wouldn’t find out and retaliate; as far as she could tell, there were no security cameras.

Loud yelling sounded on Bernard’s end of the call, and she winced and pulled the phone away briefly. It was muffled, though, like he had the phone away from him, so she couldn’t hear what he said. What she _did_ hear was, in his normal volume, with a careful tone, “How did you find his hideout?”

“This is the only building in Metro City with a fake observatory on the roof,” she told him, a brief chuckle slipping out along the way. She couldn’t believe Megamind would’ve slipped up like this.

Well, actually, she could. For all his enormous intelligence, he wasn’t always the smartest, and details slipped away pretty often.

Then something on the floor caught her eye, and she gasped. Was that a doormat that said ‘secrit entrance’? “There’s a doormat here that says ‘secret entrance’!”

She glanced back to the wall it laid in front of, inspecting it. It looked ordinary, but…

One arm extended, she approached it, slowly. Instead of making contact, it broke through, the wall splitting with blue distortion around its edges. A hologram?

Thus encouraged she pushed through, into a narrow hallway. The phone in her hand was briefly forgotten as she looked around her, until more yelling drew her attention back to it. “Huh?”

“What? Oh no, not you Roxanne,” Bernard answered, somewhat hurriedly. “No, I’m just yelling at my… mother’s urn. Don’t do anything, I’ll be right there.”

That was… a pretty terrible lie. Maybe he was upset that she had found the lair before him? Either way she told him the address, then hung up. She couldn’t risk alerting Megamind, or Minion or the brainbots. Bernard would get here soon enough.

The narrow corridor led into a more spacious room, and she realized that it hadn’t been a separate hallway at all. It was shelves upon shelves upon shelves which formed the corridors, splitting the room. Now, though, she pushed her way through a door, crouched low and armed with nothing but a camera.

She might’ve picked convenient clothes, but maybe she should’ve considered bringing a weapon of sorts. Sneaking into the lair of a known supervillain unarmed probably wasn’t her most brilliant idea ever.

Eyes wide, she looked around the new room. It appeared to be the center of Megamind’s lair, the most important part of it. Large machinery stood to all sides, with the hover-bike on her left and the Spider-Bot on the right, a cart pushed up to it. Was this where he created his inventions? Where he maintained them?

In the far back an enormous red curtain hung, and her curiosity was sparked. What could Megamind possibly need to hide like that, in his own lair?

“Roxanne?” sounded behind her in an eerily familiar voice.

She gasped, whirling around, the hand with her camera raising up on its own volition. Moments before she swung it down over the head of her attacker, she realized it wasn’t an attacker at all; it was Bernard.

He flinched back, his hands raised placatingly. “Whoa!”

“Oh,” she sighed, lowering the camera again. “I’m glad you’re here.” Then she realized that something was off about this and, lowering her voice to a whisper, asked, “Wait. How did you get here so fast?”

“Well, I, uh. Happened to be speed-walking nearby when you called.” He demonstrated this, moving forward and further into the room, swinging his arms wildly. Well, that _did_ look like speed-walking to her.

“In a suit?” she asked instead, more skeptically, referring to his fairly standard outfit. Like the other day, he was wearing a blue sweater with a brown jacket over it.

“Uh huh. It’s called… ‘formal speed-walking’. But that’s not important. I better take the lead.” He sped up past her, and she allowed the conversation topic to drop. Clearly he’d been looking for the lair just like her, and was annoyed that she had found it before him. “This way looks exciting.”

She glanced past him at the door he was gesturing at, the bright EXIT sign above it clear. “No, it says exit.”

“Which is the abbreviation for ‘exciting’, right?’

She ignored him, hurrying back towards the curtain she had seen before. Grasping the ends, she swung it open.

“This is the motherlode!”

“Oh!” Bernard ran after her, huffing out a breathless “Wow” in sync with her own.

“Just look at this thing!” she said, excitement bubbling up inside her. Behind the curtain laid an enormous cloud of papers, strung to the ceiling – and each other – with bright red string. Scattered around – and behind – the papers were boards, whiteboards and cork, and even several other objects that she was struggling to make sense of. Was that Metro Man’s scorched cape?

She walked in deeper, looking around all the papers where they were most concentrated – white and black and deep red. “You know, I could really use your help in deciphering all this,” she told Bernard.

“Really?” he asked, his voice high-pitched in excitement as he trailed after her.

“You’re an expert in all things Megamind, right?” She stopped in front of a mannequin torso, a strange fabric wrapped around it. Well, the fabric itself wasn’t too strange, she supposed, but the _colors_ were; a deep red body, with a glittery orange cloth slung around it.

“Right,” Bernard agreed with a nod.

“Together we could figure out his plan for the city and stop it.” She turned back to him. “Are you in?”

“Oh, what fun!” He grinned back at her, green eyes bright behind his glasses.

“That’s what I wanna hear!” She lifted up her camera to start snapping pictures of the plan-cluster. There must be some meaning, some organization, to its construction, so she couldn’t risk taking it. That, and if she did so, then Megamind would know that someone had been here. No, better to go with photos, and reconstruct it later, elsewhere.

A metallic _BANG_ sounded, and she ducked down on reflex. From somewhere to their side came a group of brainbots, their mechanical voices chirping “Intruder!” over and over as they dove at her.

She managed to dive out of their way, but two of them grabbed Bernard behind her and lifted him away. The rest of the cloud followed after, and she abandoned her photography attempts to chance after him. “Bernard!”

The rampaging brainbots seemed to have knocked over a closet, which now laid on the floor. More curious, however, was the large gun that must’ve been stored inside. It certainly held up to Megamind’s standards, even if it wasn’t one she had seen before; large, with a glass-like barrel which glowed a bright golden, and spikes along its top.

Roxanne might not know what it did, but hey, any weapon was better than none, right?

She scooped it up, chasing after the cloud of brainbots, and their victim. They had carried him towards the other side of the room, where machinery formed narrow corridors.

Turning the corner, she saw three of the brainbots hovering over… not Bernard, but Megamind?

He laid less than gracefully, his cape flipped over his head. As she turned the corner, however, she could see him lift the fabric, revealing that this was, indeed, Megamind.

She gasped, then drew her brow into a frown as she confronted him. “Megamind! What have you done with Bernard?”

Megamind stood up, quickly, brushing dust off of his black suit. The brainbots around him apparently lost interest, floating off again. “Oh, Bernard? Oh, yes. I’m doing horrible things to that man. I don’t want to get into it, but--”

He darted to the side, twitching closer to a door next to him, mounted at an angle. “--lasers, spikes…”

Leaning down, he pulled open one of the doors, leaning into it as Bernard’s voice rung out. “Please, no! Not the lasers and the spikes!”

Megamind raised his head again, looking back at her as he said, semi-casually, “You know the drill.”

“Oh no! Not the drill!” Bernard’s voice rung out, as Megamind ducked behind the door again. _Was_ it Bernard’s voice? The timing was rather suspicious, and she doubted that anyone could – or _would_ – yell with such perfect timing, let alone Bernard.

Still, she couldn’t risk it. Lifting the large gun and aiming it, she demanded, “Let him go! Or…”

“Or what?” Megamind asked, unconcerned. Then he noticed the gun, his eyes growing wide and a gasp slipping out.

“Or I’m gonna find out what this weird-looking gun does,” she finished her earlier statement, one finger on the trigger. She didn’t want to actually shoot it, if she could avoid it; most of Megamind’s inventions had a tendency to backfire, and that was for the ones he considered _finished_. She had no idea if this one would even work.

But clearly is must do _something_, because Megamind jerked away from the door and raised his hands. “No! Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot that gun! I’ll just go get him.”

Then he pulled open the doors fully, jumping into the bright light behind it.

“Unhand me, you fiend!” Bernard sounded once more, before the doors burst open, revealing Bernard’s upper body as he wrestled with Megamind. “His strength’s too much!”

Megamind’s hand grabbed Bernard’s collar, taking his place as he yelled, “I work out!”

Bernard’s hand was scrabbling for a grip on Megamind’s spiked shoulder, but was deflected as Megamind… bit him? Either way the villain ducked down and disappeared from view again.

When Bernard popped back out, one of Megamind’s arms was wrapped around him. “Well, it’s really paying off! You’re so fit!” He managed to wrestle it away from his shoulders, but Megamind just started grabbing at his face instead. “And strangely charismatic!”

The villain managed to get a hand in Bernard’s hair and drug him back into the… whatever they were in. Not without a fight, clearly, as loud banging continued to sound from it, the doors rattling.

Carefully she crept closer, the gun in one hand as she reached out with the other. She didn’t know if she could hit Megamind without risking Bernard, but maybe she could threaten him again?

It didn’t end up being necessary, however, as moments before she touched the handles, the doors swung open of their own. Bernard was flung out, screaming as he hit the opposite wall, and then grunting as he did.

“Are you okay?” she asked, rushing back over to him. He slumped down against the wall, but when he pushed up his glasses she couldn’t see any obvious injuries.

“I did my best,” he said, softly, “But he’s too fantastic.”

She let out a breath at his exaggeration. Must be fine, then, if he can joke around.

He scrambled up along the wall, then reached for the gun in her hands. “Here, let me carry that heavy gun for you.”

“I got us covered,” she assured him as she swung it back around. The corridor seemed empty, but she didn’t know where Megamind had gone. Better be wary.

Just as she reached the end of the structure, Megamind dove from behind it, grabbing the gun as he yelled, “Let go, it’s mine!”

“Bernard, run!” she yelled, trying to wrench the gun out of Megamind’s grip again. She didn’t know what it did – or was supposed to do – but if Megamind was so scared of it she couldn’t afford losing it.

The two of them entered something like a tug-of-war, whirling around each other as they tried to pull it away.

“You’re going to break it,” Megamind muttered, right before she shifted her hand and… accidentally pulled the trigger.

A bright golden-yellow bullet shot from the gun, and Megamind yelped, “Oh no!”

Seeing that the gun had lost its golden glow, she guessed that it had had a one-shot limit, and shoved it back into the villain’s hands. With him thus distracted, she ran back towards the paper-cloud, where she hoped to find a spot where Megamind couldn’t find her.

When she looked back she saw Megamind and Minion standing together, so she used the opportunity to sneak past them, back towards where she had seen the EXIT sign before. Brainbots patrolled in small groups of three, but she ducked behind some of the large metal objects and went unseen.

She pulled open the door, closing it behind her immediately in the hopes of escaping unnoticed. Then her foot slipped, and she finally saw that she hadn’t walked into an exit at all; it was a deep pit with a disco ball above it, and alligators below.

As she whirled her arms around, hoping to regain her balance before the reptiles could grab her, a hand closed around her arm. She was pulled out again, Bernard’s frantic voice calling her name.

“Bernard!” she said, catching her breath as the scare settled down again. “You were right about that door being exciting.”

Before she could thank him, however, a pack of brainbots dropped down at the end of the path.

“This way!” He sped off in the opposite direction, and immediately, she followed him.

Chased by the increasing volume of the brainbots, some yelling “Intruder!” and others simply making their standard “Bowg!” noise, she realized that more and more were catching up to them. Frantically, she looked around for a way to get them off their trail…

There! A table with dynamite on it! Must be leftovers from the explosion at the museum!

“Ha!” she exclaimed, grabbing one as she and Bernard passed it. A brainbot dove onto the path in front of them – perfect. The flame that held them aloft was ideal for lighting the explosive.

“What are you doing?” Bernard shouted at her as she grabbed the brainbot by its arm, holding it for a moment so she could ignite the wick.

“This’ll stop them!” Seeing it catch fire, she released the brainbot again, letting it join the pack following them. “Here!” she yelled as she threw it at Bernard.

“Seems a bit extreme, doesn’t it?” he asked, struggling to grab hold of the dynamite. He seemed… strangely uncoordinated. Had Megamind hurt him after all?

“Just throw it!” she shouted back, hearing him attempt to blow it out. And with a whispered prayer he followed her command, chucking the lit dynamite behind them.

As she had hoped, the brainbots behind them stopped to inspect the new object. Before long it exploded, and with a yell she sped up even further.

She and Bernard only just made it, throwing themselves through the false wall and back outside, the cloud of ash and dust wafting after them.

Coughing and panting, they lifted themselves from the ground again.

“Wow!” she managed, in-between pants. “That was really exciting.”

“Yeah.” He heaved for air again.

“You were very strong in there.” She turned her head, looking him over. Now in the bright light outside, she realized that he held himself a little strangely.

“I know,” Bernard gasped back, struggling to catch his breath.

“I’ve never seen anyone but Metro Man stand up to him like that.” She leaned in closer, watching him carefully. Bernard didn’t seem injured, at least, and behind his glasses his eyes remained vivid and clear.

The moment was interrupted, unfortunately, by Hal. He shuffled closer, asking skeptically, “What’s going on?”

“Hal,” she said, struggling to keep the contempt out of her voice. In the excitement of Megamind’s lab, and with Bernard by her side, she had almost forgotten that Hal was here, too. Seemed like he had been out here the whole time, but… “What happened?”

“I was just about to make my frontal assault to rescue you but, like, fifty ninjas tried to attack me,” Hal started explaining. Or, well, making up. “So I had to beat them all up and, uh, I did and, uh, they were all like crying and stuff--”

“Wow, a brave one, isn’t he?” Bernard interrupted, clearly unimpressed. He stepped closer, but Roxanne didn’t miss the wobble in his step.

Hal, who apparently hadn’t seen Bernard yet, now looked him over. “Who’re you?”

Sensing the incoming fight – and Hal’s jealousy – she intervened. “Oh, this is Bernard. He’s my partner.”

“Partner?” Hal repeated.

“Yes,” Bernard said, at first a little uncertain but then more sure, “yes, partner.”

“Well, look, ‘_partner_’, I’m her partner.” Hal laid the emphasis on the first partner so clearly that the air quotes could be heard, really. “She doesn’t know what she’s saying, she’s been through a traumatic experience.”

“I better take him home,” she interrupted Hal’s rant, glancing back towards Bernard. The man stood a little shakily, still, and for a moment she considered offering him a ride home instead. But he must’ve come here somehow, and Hal, on the other hand, had ridden with her. As much as it pained her, she would have to drive him back instead of Bernard, who deserved it more. So she settled for, “Thanks again, Bernard.”

Then, pausing momentarily, she threw caution to the wind, and threw herself at him. Her arms wrapped around Bernard in a hug, and after a brief moment of hesitation, Bernard returned it.

She let go of him after not too long, but hoped it had gotten the point across nonetheless. “I’ll call you tomorrow… partner.” This last, she supported with a playful bump to his shoulder.

He seemed to need a moment to process this, but then said, enthusiastically, “Yeah. Okay. I would like that.”

“That was weird for everybody--” Hal began behind her, and she started pushing him towards the van without looking. Instead she shot Bernard an apologetic smile. “--cause you accidentally hugged him instead of me.”

With Hal in the van, she drove off quickly, but not before glancing at Bernard in her rear view mirror. He still stood uncertainly, shaky like a newborn deer, like his balance had been thrown off. She could only hope that he would find his way home okay.

Maybe she would call him a little earlier than she had planned, tomorrow. You know, just to be sure?


	2. Just wanna tell my story

Megamind watched Roxanne leave, once more. The moment she disappeared from sight, he let himself sink onto the street. Out here, no one would see him. And no one would care about _Bernard_ looking miserable, anyway.

“_Sir!”_ Minion’s voice interrupted his thoughts, and he turned to search for him. Then he realized that it was coming from his watch, and raised it up so he could hear better. “Code: Are you okay, Sir?”

He huffed, then twisted the dial to dissolve the disguise. “Code: Been better.”

“I’m on my way, Sir,” Minion assured him, before breaking off the call. Megamind considered the effort of standing back up, but a heavy wave of nausea washed over him at the thought alone.

It didn’t take long for the heavy footsteps of Minion to reach him, and the robotic body kneeled down next to him. “Let’s get you back inside, Sir.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, rolling his head around to face Minion. Was it just him, or did his head feel heavier all of a sudden? “Yeah, let’s.”

Minion frowned, his fins fluttering uncertainly. Then he slung an arm underneath Megamind’s, pulling him up. Megamind stumbled, leaning his entire weight on Minion, but managed to remain more-or-less upright.

The two of them made their way back through the holographic wall, and Megamind grimaced at the large scorch mark – and the destroyed brainbots that laid around it. As much as he admired Miss Ritchi’s determination and steadfastness, he really wished she hadn’t gone for the dynamite.

He wished it almost as much as that he wished she hadn’t shot the still-unnamed superhero gun.

Megamind groaned as Minion accidentally jostled him, and almost tripped over his own feet.

“Sorry, Sir,” Minion immediately apologized, his metal fingers digging for more grip on the leather suit.

“’s fine,” he mumbled back, doing his best to ignore the nausea that had found its way back to him again. “Just… set me down somewhere.”

Minion re-angled himself in his bowl, shooting him a worried glance. But he hummed an agreement, then scooped Megamind up in his arms entirely.

Like that, he was carried all the way back into the lair proper, where Minion finally sat him down. Megamind let slump forward onto the desk, groaning again.

He hadn’t even noticed that Minion had wandered off until the fish returned, placing the injector-gun on the table.

“Sir,” was all the fish said, but his expression said everything else: “I told you so”.

“I know,” he muttered, pushing himself up a little. With his other hand he grabbed the gun, pulling it closer to himself. “Don’t say anything.”

“Me? I wouldn’t dare, Sir.” Minion pulled a chair up, sitting down on the opposite side of the table. His tone might have been cheerful, but it was clearly faked. Minion couldn’t hide the concern in those large eyes of his. “Only, I don’t think the injection was supposed to do this, was it?”

“No,” he agreed, turning the gun as he caught a glimpse of gold in the barrel. Was there a trace left, which he could check for its make-up? “Must be my alien physiology, messing things up again.”

Minion fluttered anxiously in his bowl, clearly jumping to comment but not daring to, for whatever reason. Whatever. Didn’t matter. He was too busy trying to find the trace of gold he kept seeing in the gun.

“Sir!” Minion finally uttered, his voice strangled.

Megamind started, the gun slipped from his hands as he turned to look at his friend. “Minion! What is the meaning of… this…”

He trailed off as he caught sight of the gold he’d been looking for. It hadn’t been in the gun at all. Instead whirls of golden energy seemed to emanate from his own body, swirling around him.

“Um.” He raised his hands in front of him, turning them slowly. “It… worked?”

The glow intensified further, the gathering energy brightening and condensing until it was impossible to see his own body through it. More and more of it seemed to creep its way out through his skin, his suit, clouding the air around him.

“Sir?” Minion repeated, concern heavy in his voice. “Sir!”

“I’m…” He paused as a pulse of energy ran through his body, the golden light around him pulsing in sync. “I’m okay, Minion.”

Minion made a disbelieving noise but, to his credit, didn’t comment.

The golden smoke around him pulsed again, steadily growing in brightness, and Megamind could _feel_ the energy working its way through his system.

But… it wasn’t supposed to do that. It was designed to work on a _human_, not on him. Sure, it _looked_ like it was working just fine, but he had no way of knowing. For all he knew, it would tear him apart from the inside out when it took full effect.

He had no way of knowing. Not until it was too late.

Around him, the light turned even brighter, and he threw his hands up in front of his face in a hopeless attempt to block it. He saw nothing, nothing but white--

And then he blinked, dumbly, as it had all faded away. Like it hadn’t ever been there.

“Huh,” Minion said, just as blankly as Megamind was currently feeling. “Well, I suppose that that was a bust.”

Megamind opened his mouth to counter him, to refute the statement. He _knew_ what he’d made, he _knew_ what he had just felt--

But when he turned to face Minion, it was… it was dizzying. It was like someone had taken his sight and dialed it up to eleven. Even from a few feet away he could see every scale on Minions body, every minuscule twitch of every muscle underneath his skin, everything in such _detail_\--

He groaned, closing his eyes and slapping his hands over them for good measure.

“Sir!” Minion exclaimed, concern back in his voice. “What’s wrong? How can I help?”

“Check the formula,” Megamind told him, still scrunching his eyes closed to block out the overload of optic feedback. “See if we can undo it.”

“Oh, of course!” Minion’s heavy footsteps wandered off, and Megamind could only be thankful that the powers only seemed to affect his eyesight, and not his already sensitive hearing. Now _that_ would’ve been a pain.

Not that this wasn’t annoying, of course. But he had designed the injector gun to be able to retract the powers, too. Just in case something went wrong, or he hit the wrong target, or his victim of choice turned out to be a disappointment.

The only reason why he had Minion check it over was because, well. It was designed for use on a _human_. And the universe had a tendency to screw with him, didn’t it? So it would be just his luck that it turned out to be irreversible if used on him.

Minion returned to the table, and Megamind dared a short peek between his fingers to look at his best friend. The _hairs_, oh god there were _so many hairs_\--

He closed his eyes again.

“Well, Sir, I think we might need to test your blood.” Minion waved with the paper, then realized that he wasn’t going to look at it and placed it down on the table. “To see what, exactly, it did to you.”

“Fine, fine. Do whatever you need to do.” He removed one hand to flap it in Minion’s direction.

His friend hummed, wandering off again to gather the necessary materials. When he returned he took the hand Megamind had flapped at him, metal fingers gentle – surprising to anyone who didn’t know the fish as well as Megamind did.

He peeled the glove off of Megamind’s arm, rolling up the sleeve of his regular suit. “This might pinch a little.”

“I know what getting my blood drawn feels like, Minion,” he retorted, feeling a smile pluck at his face nonetheless. “Just get it over with. I’m already tired of these stupid powers.”

Minion did as asked. Or tried to, at least, the needle pressing against his skin but not penetrating.

“Um, Sir? I think, um, that there might be a problem.”

Megamind heaved a gusty sigh. Then he turned his head and separated his fingers just enough to see the bare skin of his arm. There was _so much detail_, it was _overwhelming_, the pores and the follicles and--

“There,” he said, guiding the point of the needle to a soft spot, the tiniest little area of vulnerability. The grooves in the metal tore through his skin, and he crunched his eyes shut immediately.

“Got it!” Minion exclaimed, and Megamind could feel the needle leave again. “I’ll go run this. Will you be alright, Sir?”

“Better once we’ve got this over with,” he grumbled back without real heat. Sure, the invulnerability could be handy, but he had no real use for it, not without a rival to fight. And the super-sight was simply debilitating. How could he work on anything if simply _seeing_ was too overwhelming? _Justice_ was supposed to be blind! Not evil!

As it turned out, waiting for Minion to return while not being able to see anything was incredibly boring! He had no way to track time, and every time he tried to peek through his fingers he saw things he, quite honestly, didn’t want to see.

Even looking in the distance, rather than at something close by, didn’t help. Instead of seeing too much detail he just saw _too much_. A dizzying amount of information entered his enormous brain at once, enough to overwhelm him time and time again.

So he settled for laying his head down on his arms, which were resting on the table, and keeping his eyes closed. His thoughts kept wandering back to dangerous waters, unwanted waters; what if this was permanent, what if this couldn’t get fixed, what if--?

And thus he kept attempting to distract himself with better thoughts. He wondered if Metro Man had vision like this, and if so, how he dealt with it. He wondered if invulnerability extended to his facial hair too, and if so, how did Metro Man maintain his hair? Was it just always like that, was that why it was always so perfect? Because it literally couldn’t be otherwise?

When he ran out of steam on that track, or more accurately, when his thoughts kept diverting back to the original concern of his own accidental power acquisition, he thought of Miss Ritchi instead. Of her at the museum, the other day. Of her in his Lair, what felt like moments ago.

Of her hugging him, genuinely and warmly, and telling him that she would call him. Of her looking _excited_ about the prospect of talking more, of seeing him again.

Well. Not _him_, of course, but Bernard. But, for all intents and purposes, Bernard _was_ him. _He_ was the one she soothed, _he_ was the one she ran around with, and _he_ was the one she hugged, wanted to see again.

He smiled to himself, privately, at the thought. It had been… nice, to spend time with her like this. And yes, it wasn’t ideal that she had invaded his lair, and it was even less ideal that she had shot him with the injector gun. But talking to her, seeing her excitement and desire to learn more…

It had been so _wonderful_. He hadn’t realized how lonely he had been, really, living the life of a supervillain with only Minion by his side. Not that Minion wasn’t lovely, of course! He really, truly, didn’t know where he would’ve been without Minion. Dead, more than likely. But having someone else there…

Minion cleared his throat next to Megamind, snapping him out of his thoughts and startling the absolute evil _crap_ out of him. He screamed – very evilly, of course – and jerked out of his seat by pure reflex, eyes snapping open to see the potential threat.

There was still far too much detail in the world, but scrunching his eyes mostly closed reduced this to an almost bearable amount. More confusing was that something seemed off… like he was seeing Minion from the wrong angle entirely…

“Sir?” Minion said, angling himself to look upwards in the bowl, yet somehow still keeping his eyes on Megamind. “Sir, could you please come down?”

“Down?” he repeated blankly, before realizing what was wrong. He was--

He thudded down on the table with a grunt, then bounced off and hit the floor as well.

“Yes, thank you.” Minion leaned down over him, and even with his eyes almost closed he could see the individual hairs on his robotic body. He held out a metal hand towards Megamind, the digits filled with minuscule dents and scratches and wear-and-tear.

“Ugh,” he groaned, but he took the hand and let Minion pull him back onto his feet. Then he realized what Minion’s return meant, and he perked up a little. And then immediately scrunched his eyes back closed, after automatically widening them in his enthusiasm. “Are we ready to reverse the process, Minion?”

Minion made a face, and Megamind felt his heart drop. “Minion?” he asked again, because surely not. Surely this was just some… some failure of a prank?

“Sorry, Sir,” the fish said, the spines along his body twitching with nerves. “I… don’t think we can.”

“Why not?” He jumped forward, hands digging into Minion’s fur so he could stare him straight in the eyes – _ignore the details ignore the details ignore_ – his feet placed in the joints of the robotic body. “We need to undo this, Minion! Don’t you understand?!”

Minion’s face twisted into a snarl, but it softened almost immediately. “No Sir, don’t _you_ understand? We can’t, we _can’t_!”

“Well, why not?” He tried to tug on the fur he was holding in his hands, but with a terrible shredding noise it ripped out entirely. Having thus lost his grip, he tumbled backwards off of Minion and back onto the floor. “Why not?” he asked again, more quietly, his fire burning out again.

Minion wouldn’t prank him like this. He was… he was being serious.

They couldn’t undo this.

“I’m sorry,” Minion repeated, sounding genuinely distraught. “I looked Sir, I really did. But I don’t think we can. It’s… It did something weird to you, something it wasn’t supposed to do, I think.”

“Oh.” He rolled over so he was flat on his back, his cape half-tangled around his limbs and his collar digging into his neck. “We… We really can’t?”

“Not without killing you, Sir.”

“Oh,” he repeated again. Of course. _Of course_. Nothing could ever go _right_ for him, could it? Wasn’t it good enough, that he wanted to create a new superhero to make up for the one he killed? Did it really have to blow up in his face?

Could he really not _ever_ make a plan that _didn’t_ go wrong, somehow, even when it succeeded?

He stared at the ceiling, unseeing. Despite being enormously high up, he could see every detail and every support as if they were inches away.

“Now-- Now what?”

“I… don’t know, Sir.” Minion’s feet scraped over the ground as he scuffed them. Then the fish suddenly crouched down, lowering himself to almost Megamind’s level. “There is no… no precedent for this. I… don’t know.”

Megamind nodded, a small movement. He hadn’t expected otherwise, of course. What _are_ you supposed to do, as a villain, when you accidentally give yourself the powers intended for your nemesis? For a hero?

He licked his lips. “I can’t live like this, Minion.”

“You can’t live _without_ them, either, Sir,” the fish pointed out, rather pointlessly. “Maybe… Maybe you just need to get used to them?”

“_Metro Man_ never had to,” he countered, scathingly. His still-bare hand tugged on the edge of the glove of the other, the spikes sharp, but unable to prick through his skin. “_He_ was always perfect.”

“You don’t know that.” Minion moved, just on the edge of his vision. “He had his powers from birth, didn’t he? Maybe he learned to get used to them, to control them, as he grew up?”

Megamind scoffed. “Great. Just years to go, then.”

“Nonsense, Sir.” Minion twisted in his bowl, his fins flapping in an aggravated motion. “Just because _he_ took years to learn doesn’t mean that _you_ will! You are far smarter than him!”

“I _am_,” he agreed easily, still staring at the ceiling above him. His eyes caught on… was that a broken brainbot, stuck in a rafter? “I am,” he repeated, trying not to get distracted. “I’m also not _supposed_ to have these powers, Minion. I can’t-- I can’t go _out_ like this! I can’t _be evil_ like this!”

“So you’ll have to learn about something you know nothing about? With virtually no information to go off of? Well, I’m sure that _that_ has never been done before.”

He snorted. “Sarcasm doesn’t suit you, Minion. But fine, you’ve made your point. I get it.”

Minion twisted in his bowl, angling himself to mimic the movement of cocking his head. “Do you?”

“Yes, yes.” He swatted at his friend, pushing himself up into a sitting position with the other. He still couldn’t look directly at Minion; there was simply too much detail to take in at once. “I’ve got it. I’ll stop brooding already.”

The other grinned at him, wide and toothy. “I’m glad to hear so, Sir! Shall I go fetch the donuts to celebrate?”

“There’s nothing to celebrate,” he grumbled, but nodded his approval anyway. “Oh, and Minion?”

“Yes, Sir?” The fish spun around, raising a scaly eyebrow.

“There seems to be brainbot stuck in the ceiling.” He pointed towards where he had seen the broken-down shell. “Ask one of the others to get it down, see if we can repair it still.”

Minion’s mouth twisted in a grin, and he nodded, shaking his whole body inside the bowl. “I will. And Sir, if I may say so, what an excellent _evil_ use of your powers.”

“Ha ha.” He flapped a hand at the fish. “Now shoo, go do your things.”

Still smiling, Minion turned around, wandering off towards the kitchen. Megamind watched him go, then released a gusty sigh once the other was out of earshot.

He should’ve _known_. Of _course_ it had gone wrong. When _didn’t_ things go wrong for him? And now he has these… these _powers_, these grant abilities that he doesn’t _want_. He wanted a _superhero_ to fight, not to fight his own body!

His eyes burned, and peeved, he rubbed at them. He couldn’t _cry_. He was Megamind, Master of All Villainy! And villains, super or not, didn’t _cry_. And they definitely didn’t cry over foiled plans, over gaining incredible powers that _they couldn’t control_.

Megamind glared at the injector gun, wishing it would just _stop existing_, that stupid invention that--

A blue laser shot from _him_, from his eyes, and he jerked backwards, startled.

Actually, it made sense, he supposed. Metro Man had laser eyes, and he had Metro Man’s powers, so of _course_ he had laser eyes too. The color was a surprise, but…

Wait.

He scrambled up onto his feet, getting closer to the gun. It hadn’t melted at all. No, somehow, it had become encased in ice.

Oh _no_. Please tell him it wasn’t so. Had his _stupid_ alien DNA messed with the powers and _altered_ them? Did he not only have uncontrollable powers, but _different_ uncontrollable powers?

Grimacing, he grabbed onto the dense ice that froze the gun to the table. He tried tugging it loose, but it wouldn’t budge.

Then, frustrated, he tried pulling harder.

With a screech the metal _around_ the ice ripped, and he fell onto the floor once more. In his hands, he held the block of ice, sheet metal still connected to it.

“Sir?” Minion’s voice echoed, underlined with hurrying footsteps. “Sir, I heard such a ruckus! What happened? Are you okay?”

He grunted, then held out the injector gun towards Minion. “Fine. But apparently my powers aren’t an exact copy of Metro Man’s.”

“Oh.” Minion took the ice from his hands, turning it over in his hands. “Well, of course not, Sir! You’ve given them your own evil twist!”

Pushing himself back into a sitting position, he huffed an unamused breath. “Yes, well, as nice as that is, it is rather inconvenient.”

“How so, Sir?” Minion looked away from the ball of ice and back at him.

“Well, now we’ve got no way of knowing what do expect, do we?” He threw up his hands, dramatically. “_And_ searching for information on how _he_ learned control will be even less helpful!”

Minion hummed, then placed the gun back onto the table – a part that was left, that is. “Well, it _does_ seem like there is an overlap. For the most part they’re similar, are they not? Invulnerability, flight, super strength?”

“Laser eyes, but cold instead of hot?” he added on, catching Minion’s drift. “But what about his other powers? Super speed, x-ray vision?”

The fish shrugged his mechanical body. “Super speed might be untouched, if you’ve got super strength too. It could certainly be used for evil.”

“And x-ray vision?” Megamind leaned back, trying to trigger the power on purpose but failing. “All of Metro Man’s powers could be used for evil, anyway.”

“Could x-ray vision be responsible for your sight troubles, Sir?”

“My… sight troubles?” Oh. _Oh_. Of course. Minion didn’t know why he kept scrunching his eyes closed, about the enormous about of optical feedback he kept receiving. “I… suppose it might. But wouldn’t _he_ have had superhuman eyesight, too?”

“Maybe yours is better.” Minion fluttered his fins, uncertainly. “Because your hearing is already better than that of a human, maybe your eyesight has the combined power of Metro Man’s eyes and ears?”

“That _can’t_ be how it works,” he grumbled. But then, to Minion’s credit, he also had no proof otherwise.

“Well, Sir, you know what they say about gift horses.”

“That they bite?” He pushed himself up onto his feet again, dusting his clothes off. He sure was spending a lot of time on the floor today. “I don’t see how this is relevant, Minion.”

The fish rolled his eyes, briefly. “I meant that, with your brilliance, you can surely find a way out of this predicament.”

“Yes, yes, of course.” He opened his eyes slightly further, slowly getting used to the sheer amount of _detail_ he was seeing. “I… suppose these powers _could_ be convenient during evil plots, couldn’t they?”

Minion’s expression visibly brightened, his mouth twisting into a smile. “Yes, yes exactly! No getting hurt, no clunky hover bike--”

“--no need for enormous machinery to tear through solid walls, no getting trapped when things collapse!” Megamind grinned back at Minion, a spark of excitement flaring up. Yes, the plan had failed, but wasn’t that his greatest strength? To turn failure into something _even better_?

“Now all I need is to learn to control these powers,” he concluded, his heart dropping again as the realization struck. “Just… _how_?”

“If only there was some sort of expert on Metro Man and his powers…” Minion muttered, deep in thought. “Some person who knows him better than anyone else…”

“Miss Ritchi!” Megamind shouted, bouncing in excitement, eyes widening--

“Argh!” He slammed his hands over his eyes again. “Too much, too much!”

“Careful!” Minion shifted, his feet scraping over the floor. “And, ah, Miss Ritchi? Are you sure?”

“Well, of course!” He opened his eyes a little again, so he could shoot a glare at the other. “She dated him, and he has saved her hundreds of times! Who would know him better than her?”

Minion made a thoughtful face, then nodded. “Yes, I see your point, Sir. But how do you expect to get her help? Kidnapping and demanding information has never worked with well with her, and she would never voluntarily work _with_ you, would she?”

“Yes, yes, I’m aware.” He grinned, pointing at the watch on his arm. “But she wouldn’t be working with _Megamind_, would she?”

“Ah, very clever.” Minion twisted in his bowl. “But how would you explain that you accidentally gained powers like Metro Man’s?"

“Well, that part is easy.” He twisted the dial, taking on Bernard’s appearance. “You see, _Bernard_ here was with her in the lair today! And after his scuffles with Megamind, not all of which she saw, he didn’t seem entirely okay. Oh no, what if something happened to him in the lair!”

Minion shook himself in disapproval. Then he paused, made a thoughtful face, and shifted to nod instead. “That just might work.”

“Of course it’ll work,” he snapped back without heat. “It’s another plan thought up by my ingenious intellect!”

“Okay, well.” Minion quirked a challenging brow. “How do you plan on getting her to help you, then?”

Megamind rolled his eyes, twisting the watch again to dissolve the disguise. “She said she would call me – Bernard – tomorrow, because she wanted to talk about figuring out my newest dastardly plan. So I will ask her to meet me, somewhere private, and then tell her! And she will feel so bad for shooting me, that she’ll agree to help.”

He hummed. “And until then, I’ll work on getting used to these… infernal powers. No use in meeting up with her if I can’t go out, is there?”


	3. I was born with destiny

The library was quiet and nigh abandoned, even more so than usual. After Megamind had taken over the city, public spaces like this one were visited less and less often.

It was for exactly this reason that Roxanne had suggested it, when Bernard had asked to meet somewhere quiet. She could’ve gone for her apartment, sure, but that felt a little… personal. Too personal for now, at least.

So here she was. In the library. Speeding towards a corner far away from the entrance, where Bernard was probably already waiting for her. And yep, there he was.

She sat down opposite of him, shooting him a brief smile. “Hi, Bernard. Sorry I’m a little late.”

“It’s-- It’s fine.” The smile he offered back was shaky, a little uncertain. Actually, all of Bernard was shaky and uncertain, like he wasn’t quite comfortable in his skin.

“Hey, are you… okay?” She drew her brows together, looking him over. He was dressed as impeccably as always, and there were no visible injuries… but then, there hadn’t been any of those after their adventure a few days ago, either.

He nodded, then hesitated, then made a strange face. Something close to a grimace, but not quite. “Actually, I, uh. That’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Did something happen in Megamind’s lair?” she asked, growing increasingly worried. She thought that he had just gotten knocked over the head or something, but if he was still feeling bad…

“I… yes, sort of. Um. It’s a little hard to explain.” He huffed out a breathy laugh. “I’ve been… Weird things have been happening. Since then.”

She drew back a little, a frown on her face. “Weird things like what? What happened?”

“Well, ooh. How can I explain…” he trailed off, then hiccuped. Except it hadn’t been a normal hiccup, apparently, because Bernard jolted upwards. And then… stayed upwards?

“Are you…” She leaned out of her seat, confused. But, yeah, Bernard appeared to be floating above his seat. And gripping the table with such force that the wood split around his fingers.

Roxanne wrapped a hand around his wrist, pinning him down just in case he lost grip. Then, laughing a little, asked, “So is this one of those ‘weird things’?”

The physical contact seemed to work grounding – literally – because Bernard stopped floating immediately, landing in his seat with a whump. He chuckled, awkwardly. “Uh, yeah, sort of.”

He let go of the table, then gestured at the cracks that he had made. “And, uh, so is that.”

“Huh.” She trailed her hand over the damage. “So… flight and super strength? How did that happen?”

Bernard made a face. “Invulnerability, stupendously good eyesight, and some sort of laser eyes, too,” he added.

“If your eyesight became so good, why are you still wearing your glasses?” She quirked a questioning brow at him.

“They’re, um. Fake.” He chuckled, a little forced. “I didn’t want people to know.”

“Why not? How did it happen, anyway?”

He shifted, shrugging loosely. “I got hit by something while we were in Megamind’s lair. You told me to run, and I did, so I didn’t see what it was, exactly. Just… fast, and golden, and I think it glowed?”

It was like someone had dropped Roxanne in a bucket of ice. That sounded exactly like the bullet from the gun she had shot.

The gun that _Megamind_ had been worried about. So worried that he’d genuinely flinched away the moment she had aimed it at him.

Oh lord. What had she _done_?

“And it… it gave you powers? Like Metro Man?”

“I guess?” His fingers played with the edge of the table, where he had cracked it. His head was angled down, but he seemed to watch her from the corner of his eyes. “Not _exactly_ like Metro Man, but pretty close to it, at least.”

“That’s…” Bizarre? Unbelievable? Strangely convenient? Absolutely mind-boggling? “… really something, Bernard.”

This startled a laugh out of him. Then he flinched as the clenching of his fist cracked a chip off of the table, which sobered both of them up again.

“Yeah,” he agreed, quietly. “It really is.”

“But _why_?” slipped out before she could really stop it. And, well. In for a penny, in for a pound, right? “It doesn’t make sense! Why would Megamind create a weapon that _gives_ people Metro Man-like powers? Wouldn’t he want something to take _away_ those powers?”

“A failed invention, maybe?” Bernard suggested, frowning at the piece of wood he now held. “Who knows how many things he creates that the public never sees.”

“No, no way. It was too finished-looking to be a prototype, and it looked brand new.” She shook her head. “No, I’m pretty sure that it was supposed to give powers. I just don’t understand _why_.”

Bernard shrugged, placing the piece of wood on the table. “Who knows? No one could hope to understand Megamind’s ingenious thought process.”

“Hm. His ingenious thought process, which included a gun that, what, creates new superheroes?” She pulled the shard of wood over to her side, rolling it in her hands to keep herself occupied while she thought. “It just… it doesn’t make sense! If all it does is give superpowers, why was he so afraid of it?”

“Well, he _is_ an alien,” Bernard pointed out. “Maybe it only works on humans? Or maybe he didn’t want to risk it malfunctioning?”

She snorted. “Like Megamind is ever scared of using dangerous inventions himself. But I guess you have a point with the first thing. Just because it worked on you doesn’t mean it would work on him.”

His face did something complicated, but he nodded. “Yes, exactly.”

“Well, I guess that that gives us more incentive to figure out Megamind’s plan, then.” She twirled the shard in her hand, between her fingers. “The superpower-gun must be related, right? But-- _ouch_.”

The piece of wood dropped back onto the table as she drew her hand away from it. She hissed between her teeth, raising her hand to look at it.

Bernard jolted in his seat, seemingly caught halfway in-between standing up but not finishing the motion. “Roxanne,” he said, worry clear in his voice, “Are you alright?”

“Fine, fine!” She motioned at him to sit back down with her uninjured hand, and thankfully, he did. “Just a splinter. It’s my fault for playing with a piece of broken wood.”

He huffed, but settled down further. His eyes, the same vivid green as always, darted away from her again, like looking at her directly was uncomfortable. “It shouldn’t have happened,” he said, contempt in his voice. For what? The table? Himself, for breaking it? Her, for injuring herself?

“It’s fine, Bernard,” she soothed, carefully pushing the shard away from herself. “See, I pulled it out just fine.”

A brief nod, then he shifted to glare at the wood instead, like he was blaming it for injuring her.

“Bernard,” she repeated, softly. “It’s--”

She jerked, startled by the blue beam that hit the table right next to her. It ceased almost immediately, thankfully, but that didn’t diminish its power.

The shard of wood had become encased in ice, frozen to the table on which it laid.

“Oh wow.” She poked the ice, and found it as solid and cold as one might expect from, well, ice. “What did you say earlier, again? ‘Some sort of laser eyes’?”

“Ha, uh, yeah.” He chuckled briefly. “I guess that they’re… ice lasers? Cold lasers?”

“But all your other powers are an exact match for Metro Man’s?” She tugged on the block of ice, ignoring the way the cold bit into her fingers, but it didn’t budge. “I wonder why that is.”

“Well, not exactly.” Bernard folded his hands together, eyes focused on them instead of her. Was he afraid of looking directly at her because of the lasers? “I don’t think I have super speed like he did, and I don’t seem to have x-ray vision either. But like I said, I _do_ have really sharp eyesight, even at night.”

“And you can’t control them?”

“Not really, no.” He shrugged, raising his head a little again so he could look at her. Still he refused to look at her directly, though. “It’s better than it was at first, but I think that that was just getting used to them existing. The eyesight, mostly. It was really bad, at first.”

“Really?” She gave up on prying the frozen wood loose, instead leaning forward, her curiosity taking over. “How so?”

“It was just…” He gestured vaguely, then made a frustrated noise as he couldn’t seem to find the right words. “I can’t really explain it. It was just… too much? Visual overload.”

She hummed. “And that’s better, now?”

“Well, considering that at first I couldn’t even open my eyes without getting dizzy? Yeah.”

“Oh, wow.” She laughed. “Yeah, that sounds pretty bad.”

The conversation paused, both of them searching for something to say.

Finally she cleared her throat and said, “So, uh. What do you want to do now?”

Bernard frowned, tilting his head like a confused dog. “What do you mean, ‘do now’?”

“Well, with your powers?” She gestured at him, indicating his… well, everything. “Do you want to figure out how the invention worked so we can reverse it, or…?”

He made a face, then shook his head. “No, no. I, uh, I don’t think that that’ll go well. I would rather not risk it.”

“So then what?”

“Well, I think that a good place to start would be getting enough control not to destroy things unintentionally.” He gestured at the cracked table, then the ball of ice – which finally seemed to have started weakening.

“Hmm, yeah. I see your point.” She leaned her elbow on the table, eyeing him up. “Uncontrollable super strength and ice lasers are pretty dangerous things to take into the public.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, dismayed.

He sat slumped in on himself, playing with the hem of his sweater. His eyes, large and vibrant, were downcast.

“Hey, come on, it’ll be okay.” She leaned over the table to nudge him, playfully. “I’ll help you, okay? We can work on your powers, and try to figure out Megamind’s plan at the same time.”

Bernard looked up, a spark of hope in his eyes. “Really?”

“Of course. I’m the one that dragged you into Megamind’s lair, right? So I’m responsible, in a way. And even if that wasn’t the case, you’re my friend, Bernard. I care about you.”

“Oh,” he mumbled, his eyes big like he’d been surprised. “I… I care about you too, Roxanne.”

She smiled, patting his shoulder briefly before pulling her hand away. “So I’m gonna do my best to help you, and you’re gonna do your best to help me, and then… then we’ll see from there.”

“Right,” he said. Then, more strongly, more determined, he said again, “Right.”

“So, um.” She laughed, awkwardly. “Where should we start?”

“What can you tell me about Metro Man’s powers?” He jerked, apparently realizing that that came across a little more inconsiderate than he had intended. “I mean, they seem similar, right? And you were close to him.”

Roxanne hummed, thoughtfully. “I really don’t know all that much about how they worked. If he ever needed to learn control or if they came naturally to him.”

“Oh,” Bernard huffed, clearly disappointed. “Then you wouldn’t know if he had some place to train, either? A hideout, or a cave, or a solitary fortress of some kind? Anything that could give us clues about his powers, his training?”

“Well… There is one place I know.”

* * *

The news van rumbled, and Megamind was vaguely aware of how strange it was to ride with Roxanne behind the wheel, rather than the other way around.

In a way, the enclosed space of the vehicle was… nice. He still lapsed into uncontrollable bouts of flight every now and then, and unfortunately his love of high ceilings didn’t protect him when he fell down from said ceilings.

Of course, the increased risk of hitting Roxanne with an accidental eye-laser was less stellar. But those, he could more or less control, he thought. Or prevent, at least. They only seemed to come up when he glared at things, so he just had to… not do that.

“I don’t know if we’ll find anything,” Roxanne confessed as they left the city proper. “Like I said, he might not have ever needed to work on his powers. And even if he did, he might’ve done it while he was still young, and have no records of it.”

“Yes, well. Any help is better than none, right?” He twisted his fingers together, wishing that he was wearing gloves. The hard-light projection of Bernard dampened the feelings, somewhat, but he liked fidgeting with the spiked edges.

They turned off of the road, entering an unpaved dirt path, meandering through dry grass.

“It’s too bad that we’re trying to do this without Megamind noticing, otherwise I would suggest visiting Lady Scott.” Roxanne’s fingers tightened around the steering wheel, as if in a fit of emotion he couldn’t place. “She raised him, so if there were any troubles while he was growing up, she must know.”

“Hmm, yes.” He looked away from her, focusing on his hands. There was something… uncomfortable, yet exhilarating, about making her think he was someone else. About these lies, complotting with her against… well, himself. “That _is_ rather unfortunate, but it’s a risk that cannot be borne.”

“Uh huh.” She looked out of the front window, then suddenly shifted to hit the brakes.

The van jolted, and Megamind tumbled out of his seat, slamming his head on the dash.

“Ugh, my head,” he groaned, clutching at it and ignoring the alien sensation of feeling hair.

“Whoops, sorry.” Roxanne leaned out of her seat, looking at him with only a hint of guilt in her expression. “I told you you should wear your seat belt.”

He grumbled, righting himself again. “Yes, yes, and get entangled in it when I lose control over my powers, of course.”

She rolled her eyes, then clicked her tongue. “Whatever makes you feel better, Bernard. We’re here, by the way.”

“We are?” He swung open the door, half-falling out of the vehicle to see the supposedly top-secret hideout of Metro Man.

At the end of the dirt road laid… his old shoolhouse. Time hadn’t been kind to it, the vivid red paint peeling off, and in many places gone entirely. The clock above the door was cracked and seemed to have paused, and the sign higher up was barely legible, the white lettering faded.

“So this is where he hid it…” he muttered under his breath. “After all these years… My old shoolhouse.”

“What’s that?” Roxanne asked, exiting the vehicle as well. “I don’t think I caught that.”

“I, uh. Was just… surprised?” he stammered, clenching his fists. “Um, by the look of his hideout? I never would’ve expected it to be hidden by a tiny decrepit wooden structure.”

Roxanne hummed, seemingly falling for his lie. “Yeah, it’s certainly disarming, isn’t it? I think it was his old school, or something like that. He seemed fond of the building, at least.”

“You’ve been here before?” He wandered closer to the building, uncertainly, but looked at her over his shoulder. “You know how to navigate it, then?”

“Once or twice.” She shrugged, her eyes wandering over the building as well. “And it’s been a while, to be honest. Most of his hideout was hidden underground, and you can get there via a tunnel that leads here.”

He paused on the front steps, turning around to wait for her to catch up. At least here, in front of the door, the overhang would stop him from flying away uncontrollably. “He turned the classroom into an entrance to his hideout?”

“Well, no.” The wood creaked as she joined him in front of the door. Instead of opening the door, she looked at him. “He made a hidden door. So people who just happen to wander in wouldn’t find his base, and so the room would still look the same. Nostalgia, you know?”

“Oh, yes.” He huffed out a breath, then gestured for her to open the door. “_Nostalgia_. The good old days.”

She shot him a concerned glance, but he looked away. He didn’t want to talk about it. It had made him who he was, school, and that was all it had been good for. Everything else about it was better forgotten.

“Alright, well. Let’s just go in, then,” she said, and opened the door.

Much like the outside, the inside was an almost perfect match to Megamind’s memories of the place. Dustier, though. And it was far more pleasant now, without the bumbling humans.

Roxanne coughed next to him, waving away some of the disturbed dust, and he mentally corrected himself. It was far more pleasant, now, with this one specific human by his side.

“I think the switch was somewhere around here,” she said, gesturing at a wooden trophy case.

“Oh, a trophy as the lever for a hidden door? How cliche.” And a _bad guy_ cliche, too! How dare Metro Man steal his niche!

Either way, he joined her at the case, looking over the shelves full of Wayne’s achievements. Yuck. And was one of these for… was he really awarded a trophy for carrying away the school, that day when Megamind had set off that paint bomb?

Scoffing, he grabbed for the trophy, intending to look it over closer. But it didn’t let go of the shelf; instead it clicked, like a switch had engaged.

Megamind released it immediately, pulling his hand away and to his chest. Roxanne, too, flinched away. Then her eyes widened, as the entire trophy case receded.

“Oh, Bernard, good job! Which one was it?”

“I just… grabbed for a random one?” he tried, shooting her a hopefully convincingly casual smile. “I couldn’t read what it was for.”

The look she sent him was clearly skeptical, but she remained quiet. Instead she turned back towards the now-visible entrance, gesturing at it. “Well, you found it, you go first.”

“Well, alright.” He straightened himself, then stepped onto the dark staircase. It was… really not Metro Man’s style, he thought. Dark and gloomy, with bare cement walls.

The stairs ran down in a straight line, ending in a long hallway that was, almost impossibly, even gloomier than the stairs had been.

“Wow,” he couldn’t resist saying, his eyes wandering around. “This… isn’t what I was expecting.”

“It looks even worse than it did last time I was here.” Roxanne frowned, also looking around as she joined him at the bottom of the staircase. “Just look at those stains! Maybe he stopped coming here, Bernard.”

Their voices echoed in the hallway, and Megamind’s eyes caught on the massive steel door at the end of the corridor. “Yes, maybe. But we’re here anyway. Might as well check, right?”

“Right,” she said, her words measured. “I think his main base was behind that door.”

He nodded, speeding up a little to approach the door. It looked like thick, solid steel, with all kinds of shielded cabling running around it. Not to mention the enormous pipes that ran around the corners of the wall.

“How does it unlock?”

Roxanne shrugged, coming to a halt a step or two behind him. “I’m not sure it locks at all. The few times I’ve been here you could just push it open.”

Megamind quirked a questioning eyebrow at him, and she shrugged again. “Yeah, really. Let’s be real, who would come here, let alone attempt to rob Metro Man?”

“That’s… fair.” He turned back to the door, so uncharacteristic for Metro Man. Then he slowly placed his hand against it, and pushed.

Like Roxanne had said, the door swung open without protest, only slightly squeaky. Behind it laid a spacious circular room, and _wow_, that might be the most obnoxiously golden room Megamind that ever seen. This was definitely Wayne’s style.

Shiny marble in the floor and in the pillars, white furniture and speakers, and golden inlays everywhere. The entire right wall was jammed full with photos and paintings of him in his Metro Man costume, and golden statues were littered everywhere else.

Hell, the far back wall even had his _logo_ laid in gold in it. The legs of the M trailed off to emphasize guitars that hung from the wall, partly blocked from their sight by two enormous pure white speakers.

“Wow,” he said despite himself. He wandered in further, Roxanne right behind him – and quickly overtaking him. “I can’t believe he kept all this stuff.”

He passed by an older costume of Wayne, the fabric still shiny and white. The edges of the cape were lined with golden stars, a fluffy collar connecting it to the rest of the costume. “I remember when he wore that.”

“Shouldn’t we try to stay focused?” Roxanne asked from the other side of the room, having turned around to fix him with a chastising look.

“Yes, of course, right, focused.” He perked up, looking away from the cape, and saw her wandering off again. He halted. He shouldn’t… he really, _really_, shouldn’t. He was here on a mission, darnit.

He turned back around, combing his fingers through the soft collar.

“Hey!” Roxanne shouted, and he started, pulling his fingers away from the synthetic fur like it had burned him. “Come over and look at this.”

She had stepped down in the lowered area, standing next to the low table.

“What is it?” he asked, already rushing towards her. “What did you find?”

“Look.” She crouched down, and he followed suit. “This glass has ice cubes in it.”

“Yes, that’s what happens when water gets cold.” He shot her a confused look. Surely _the_ Roxanne Ritchi knew this?

“No, what I’m saying is,” she stood up, and once again, he followed her, “don’t you think it’s a little odd that the ice hasn’t melted yet?”

“One of life’s great mysteries.” He supposed she had a point, though. Why--

Something behind them creaked, and he and Roxanne stiffened. Then, slowly, turned to look.

The first thing Megamind noticed was the bright white bathrobe. Then the man wearing it turned around fully, his bearded face twisted into a doubtful grimace, a half-eaten sandwich in one of his hands.

“Hey,” he said, shooting them something that was _almost_ his signature smile. It was only a little ruined by the scruffy beard, and his uncombed hair, gone white near the temples.

Inadvertently, Megamind screamed. Thankfully, so did Roxanne, so he didn’t feel like a _complete_ idiot.

Besides, being faced by someone who _you_, personally, killed, who should be _dead_\-- Who _wouldn’t_ scream?

“You’re alive?” Roxanne said, her tone startled.

“You’re alive,” he couldn’t help but repeat, his own tone far softer and breathier.

Wayne’s face did something complicated. Then he gave a loose shrug and said, too, “I’m alive.”

“But-- But I-- We-- We saw your skeleton!” Roxanne stuttered, flapping her hands, aggravated. “You were dead.”

“Are you a ghost?” he asked, tempted to reach out towards Wayne. But he couldn’t, not while everyone thought he was Bernard. _Bernard_ didn’t know Wayne, had no reason to know Metro Man outside of his reputation.

“There had better be an _amazing_ explanation for this,” Roxanne demanded, her eyes laser-focused on Wayne. Somewhere behind his confusion at the current situation, Megamind was glad that it hadn’t been _her_ who had gotten laser eyes.

Wayne heaved a tired sigh, his eyes wandering over Megamind, to Roxanne, and then back to him.

“Okay,” he said, reluctantly. “Okay, okay, okay. You both deserve the truth.”

Megamind jerked, his eyes widening involuntarily. The way he said it, it was like--

“Because you’re both here, I mean,” Wayne corrected, shooting Megamind a brief and… guilty?… glance. “You’re both here, that’s why you both deserve the truth. You found me.”

“Right.” Roxanne clicked her tongue, then gestured at him. “Go on, then. Tell us.”

“So, uh.” He gestured for them to sit down on the catch. Then he cleared his throat, recapturing his story-telling drift. “It all started back at the observatory. Roxanne was kidnapped, I was gonna stop y-- _Megamind_. My head wasn’t in the game that day. Just kind of going through the motions. So…

“Using my super-speed, I decided to go clear my head. Then I realized, we-- _I_\-- had done the same silly charade my entire life. I tried to get my mind off how I was feeling. But I just felt _stuck_. I began to realize, despite all my powers, each and every citizen of Metro had something I didn’t: a choice. Every since I can remember, I always had to be what the city wanted me to be. But what about what I wanted to do?

“Then it suddenly hit me. I _do_ have a choice! I can be whatever I want to be! No one said this hero thing had to be a lifetime gig. You can’t just quit, either. _That_ is when I got the brilliant idea… to fake my death. Once the death ray hit… I’ve never felt so alive. So I borrowed a prop from a nearby nursing school. Metro Man was finally dead!

“And Music Man was born!” he exclaimed finally, his face splitting in a brilliant smile.

“Music Man?” Roxanne repeated, confused and skeptical.

“That way I could keep my logo.” Wayne gestured at the large M on his chest, still grinning widely.

“’Cause of wha--?” Megamind asked, while Roxanne simultaneously asked, “Come again?”

“I was finally free to get in touch with my _true_ _power_: Weaving lyrical magic.” He strummed the guitar he had picked up, winking at them. “Check this out.”

Wayne started strumming the guitar more, playing some sort of tune. And then, to make matters worse, he started _singing_. _“I have eyes, that can see, right through leaaaaaad--”_

Megamind withstood the temptation to slam his hands over his sensitive ears, instead twisting his head to shoot a pained look at Roxanne, one hand over his mouth. Apparently she felt the same way, because she had turned around to shoot him a look as well.

“You’re horrible!” Roxanne blurted out, standing up.

He shot up as well, gesturing at Wayne. “Granted, you have talent. But--” he cast around for an excuse, then remembered that this whole thing had started because he’d gotten bored without Wayne to fight. “But there’s a madman out there destroying your city!”

Behind him, Roxanne grunted angrily. Then a trophy flew past him, hitting Wayne right in the face and breaking apart. “How could you _do_ this?!”

The man in question didn’t even blink.

She grunted again, throwing another trophy. “The people of this city _relied_ on you--”

One of the two enormous white speakers shattered over Wayne’s head. “--and you deserted them!”

This last, she underlined by breaking a guitar on Wayne’s invulnerable head, barely shifting his hair. “You left us in the hands of _Megamind_!”

At this, Wayne quirked a brow, shooting a brief glance over to Megamind.

“No, I’m with her,” he said, dropping his hands. At this point it was more than clear that his disguise watch didn’t work on Wayne – due to his powers? – and the last thing he wanted was for the blundering hero to ruin this. That, and he _wanted_ to fight Metro Man, anyway. “Look, we need your help.”

“I’m sorry,” Wayne told them. Him, really, based on the fact that his eyes remained on Megamind. “I really am. Um, I’m done.”

Wayne shifted, glancing at Roxanne, then back at him. He placed his hands on Megamind’s shoulders. “Look, um…”

“Bernard,” Megamind added, figuring that that was what Wayne was searching for.

“Right. Look, Bernard,” he said, his large hands still on Megamind’s shoulders, “could we… talk in private?”

Roxanne shot him a concerned look over Wayne’s shoulder, but he ignored her. Instead he nodded at Wayne. “Yeah, sure.”

“We’ll be just a minute, Roxie,” Wayne assured her as they walked past her, apparently misreading the reason for her concern.

The moment the door clicked shut behind them, he made to jump into some kind of righteous speech. And Megamind had heard his fair share of those already, so he held up his hand and interrupted the former hero.

“Look, whatever you’re going to tell me, I don’t want to hear it. What I _do_ want to know is how you knew it was me.”

Wayne clamped his mouth shut again, then rolled his eyes, exasperated. “Yeah, sure. X-ray vision shows your regular appearance, little buddy.”

“Should’ve known.” Megamind huffed out a breath. “I can’t believe I did _that_ to myself when you were alive the whole time!”

“Did… what?” Wayne frowned, eyes roving over Megamind. “The… disguise?”

“No!” Megamind twisted the dial of his watch, dropping the disguise. “I made a gun that gave people powers! _Your_ powers!”

“…Okay?” Wayne tilted his head, the frown still in place. “And you… used that on yourself? I don’t see what the problem is.”

“The _problem_,” he hissed, stepping up into Wayne’s space, “is that I can’t _remove_ them again, nor can I _control_ them!”

And, as customary these days, the glare was underlined with a bout of ice laser.

“Ah.” Wayne jerked back, then snapped the ice off of his face. “I see. Is that why you two came here?”

“Well, we certainly didn’t come here to come visit the not-actually-dead hero of Metrosity!” He narrowed his eyes, but lowered them so the lasers hit Wayne in his stupid logo instead.

The man sighed, then used his own lasers to melt them off again. “You know, little buddy, there’s a yin for every yang.”

He ignored Megamind’s narrowed eyes, placing his hands back on the narrow leather-clad shoulders. “If there’s bad, good will rise up against it. It’s taken me a long time to find my calling. Now it’s about time you found yours.”

He smiled, charismatically. But Megamind just huffed and brushed off his hands.

“Thanks,” he bit back, “That was really unhelpful. Was that all, oh brilliant guru?”

Wayne rolled his eyes, then sighed. “I can’t help you with your powers, Megamind. I can only say this, for mine: they helped me do what was best for me, not what I _thought_ was best for me.”

“Wow. Did you get that out of a wisdom cookie?” He huffed, twisting his watch again to take on Bernard’s appearance. “Can I leave without you blowing my identity out of the water, or what?”

The other man clicked his tongue, then shook his head. “What does _she_ think is going on, buddy?”

He scoffed, then flapped a dismissive hand. “She was working with Bernard to infiltrate my – _Megamind_’s – base, and during that Bernard got hit with the superpower gun. Now we’re working together to figure out Megamind’s newest brilliant plan, while also trying to find a way for me to actually control my powers. Good enough for you?”

“She’ll be really upset when she finds out, you know,” Wayne pointed out, loosely crossing his arms. “Whatever you’re working towards, you won’t get it if you keep lying.”

“Oh, yeah, you’re one to speak.” Megamind rolled his eyes, one hand hovering over the handle of the door. “Now, if you don’t mind, I have better things to do.”

Wayne nodded, starting towards the door as well.

Roxanne shot up from the couch the moment the door opened, darting towards them. Her eyes ran over him, then shot to Wayne. “And? Are you going to be any help whatsoever?”

The man’s eyes softened, moving from her to Bernard. “You already have the hero you need, Roxanne. You don’t need me.”

“You’re leaving us in _his_ hands?” Her eyes darted back to him, and she added, more softly, “No offense.”

“None taken.”

“He just needs a little encouragement,” Wayne said, completely ignoring Roxanne’s fury. And what a fool he was for it. Megamind, himself, had long since learned that if Roxanne was angry, you _really_ didn’t want to go against her. Who would’ve thought that you learned more about a person if you kidnapped them all the time?

“He needs someone who could _teach_ him!” She shoved the ex-hero, but he didn’t budge. “And why do _you_ get a choice in this, and not him too? Huh? What if Bernard doesn’t want to be a hero either?”

Wayne shook his head, stepping away from Roxanne. “It’ll be fine, I’m sure. Now, I believe that Bernard was eager to leave, right, buddy?”

Megamind rolled his eyes at the obvious escape attempt, but decided to roll with it nonetheless. He really _did_ want to leave this horrible mishmash of white and gold. “Let’s go, Roxanne. We don’t want his help if he’s gonna be like this.”

“Right,” she agreed, whirling around. Then she seemed to change her mind, turning back to point one threatening finger in Wayne’s face. “And _you_, Mr. Scott, are no longer welcome in my apartment. I don’t want to see your face _ever_ again, unless you got a _darn_ good apology for me, and for Bernard, _and_ for this city.”

The superpowered alien flinched back a step, then nodded. “Understood.”

“_Good_,” she hissed, before storming off. “Come on Bernard. We’ve got work to do.”

“Right.” He sped after her, the heavy steel door slamming shut behind them.

Roxanne kept the furious pace up for several more steps, then slowed down to let him catch up. She huffed, still angry. “I can’t _believe_ that guy! How could he _do_ this?”

Megamind shrugged, secretly glad to see Roxanne’s fury aimed at someone else for once. Especially against Metro Man, specifically.

Everyone always treated Wayne like he was perfect, like he could do no wrong. Every little fault and blemish was ignored or, more often, blamed on Megamind. So, yeah. He enjoyed seeing Roxanne rag on the guy for once.

She was clearly fuming, shoving the false trophy case aside so they could re-enter the old classroom. “The egotistical prick can only think of himself! Unbelievable! Like _his_ life is more important than those of everyone else!”

The door outside swung open violently, the hinges creaking under Roxanne’s force. She met his eyes over her shoulder.

“Hey, who needs him? We can figure this out ourselves, right?”

“Uh, yeah,” he agreed, hesitantly meeting her eyes. “We’ll have to, won’t we?”

Roxanne sniffed, then nodded. “Well, we’ll show him. Come on, hop in.”

He did as she asked, sitting down in the passenger seat of the van. Glancing to where she was still fuming in anger – and rightfully so! – he decided that maybe now wasn’t the time to be challenging. He tugged the seat belt on.

“You want to go back to the library, or are we done for today?” Around them, the van roared to life.

“I… think I’m done for today.” He scratched his cheek, offering her a sheepish smile. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. I can’t blame you.” She blew out a breath, turning the vehicle around so they could head back to the city. “Man, I can’t believe Wayne would do this.”

He hummed, noncommittally. _He_ could. This was _exactly_ how Wayne had been back in school. How he was just about every time they met, really. Wayne only ever stamped it down when cameras were on – or when Roxanne herself was observing.

The ride back passed mostly in silence. Roxanne was clearly still working through her anger, and Megamind… well, mostly he was trying not to break the stuff around him.


	4. And I'm not gonna be nobody

The next time they met, it was in the library again. Roxanne had texted him, the day after they had met with Metro Man.

‘_meet @ library… RR’_ the message had simply read, and Megamind caught himself smiling at it nonetheless.

‘_can’t wait, lol. :)’_ he had texted back, and so it happened. And if he had accidentally snapped the arm off of the chair he’d been sitting in, well… it wasn’t like anyone knew, right?

And thus he could be found, the next day, sitting in a quiet corner of the library. He’d spared a single glance for the table he had damaged only days prior, before he sat down at a different one.

He was just starting to get worried about Roxanne not showing up when she sat down, late.

“Sorry,” she said, placing a box down on the table. “I wanted to grab some snacks for us, but the line took longer than I expected.”

“Oh.” He blinked at her, then at the box she had brought. “That’s… very nice of you.”

She smiled, then flipped open the lid to reveal its contents: donuts. “I wasn’t sure what you liked, so I got a bunch of different kinds.”

“Ah, well. The sweeter the better, if you ask me.” He grinned back, a little playfully. “I have a sugar problem, or so some people say.”

“Really? Who is ‘some people’?”

People he couldn’t exactly mention to Roxanne. Minion, the Warden, many of the prisoners who knew him when he was younger… He flapped a hand. “Ah, no one special. Just, people in general.”

Roxanne hummed, shoving the box towards him. “Alright, well, take one, then.”

“Well, if you insist.” He winked, then leaned over the table to pick one coated in sugar. While doing so, however, he managed to over-balance himself, the hand he was leaning on slipping off of the table. He went tumbling down, then jerked to a suddenly halt inches above the floor.

“Wow! Careful, Bernard.” Roxanne’s eyes were wide as she looked at him, floating above the carpet. Oof, and what dirty carpet this was. Who cleaned this place, and when was the last time it had happened?

He pushed himself off the floor, drifting up until he was at roughly eye-level with Roxanne again. Shot her a sheepish smile, and ignored the fact that he was slowly spinning in place.

“Whoops, sorry. Slipped off.”

“Hmm. Good catch, though.” She held up the box of donuts. “Take a donut as a reward?”

“Well, if you insist.” He made a haughty face, taking his time selecting the best donut in the box. By the time he’d grabbed it, he hung perfectly vertical, in an almost standing position.

Roxanne’s eyes followed his path, even as he started flipping onto his back. “So… figuring out how to stop doing that is probably a good place to start.”

“You might have a point there,” he agreed, not able to see her since he had flipped upside down entirely. He took a bite of his donut, then realized that swallowing while upside down probably wasn’t a good idea.

By the time he’d turned around far enough to see Roxanne again, she held a donut as well. A few bites had already been taken out of it.

“Hey,” she said, smiling at him. “Back again?”

“Hm. Give me a moment to think about that.” He took another bite of his donut while he laid flat in the air. “Looks like it.”

Just as he leaned forward to take another bite, his flight suddenly quit. His upper body hit the table and bounced off while his legs kicked over the chair, and he ended up landing on his back on the carpet.

“Ugh,” he groaned, uninjured but with his arm squished between his head and the floor. “I landed on my donut.”

She snorted, then lapsed into full-blown laughter when he sat up. Megamind grimaced, then lifted his hands to his head, finding, indeed, frosted sugar all over his hair.

He pouted, but this just spurred on Roxanne’s laughter. And apparently her laughter was infectious, because he could feel himself break out into a smile as well. And, after that, cackling laughter of his own.

“Bernard,” Roxanne managed as her laughter finally calmed down, “I’ve never seen you look so ridiculous.”

His own laughter calmed, and he offered her a shy smile. “And… I never heard you laugh before.”

“Yeah, it’s been a while.” She offered him a hand and pulled him back up onto his feet. “Feels pretty good.”

“It has,” he agreed, flipping his chair back so he could sit down again. “There hasn’t been much to laugh about recently, has there?”

“There hasn’t, no.” She sighed, then took another bite of her donut. Once she’d swallowed it, she followed up her statement with, “But that could change, soon.”

“Oh?” He took a bite of his own donut, cherishing its sugar-y-ness. “How so?”

“Well, once we’ve figured out Megamind’s plot, we can take him down. And then… things will go back to normal, more or less.” She scoffed. “Well, as normal as things will be with _Wayne_ faking his death.”

“I… suppose.” He cast his eyes downward, then stuffed the rest of his donut in his mouth to avoid having to talk. It didn’t work, unfortunately, since Roxanne just patiently waited for him to swallow it. “But… I’m not a hero, Roxanne.”

“I’m not saying you have to be.” She pushed the box closer to him again, obviously inviting him to grab a new one. “We just have to stop Megamind. Us, together. As a team.”

“A team where only one of us has superpowers,” he pointed out, quirking a brow. He reached forward to take another donut, though.

She huffed out a breath. “You don’t _need_ powers to be a hero, Bernard, and neither do I. Remember the museum?”

“I do, and I know.” He held up his hands, placatingly. “I’m just saying. If it comes down to a battle…”

“I’ll steal one of Megamind’s inventions and help.” She shot him a challenging grin.

“Oh,” he said. That was… well. That was an image he wouldn’t get out of his head anytime soon. Roxanne, wielding one of his weapons, a fierce warrior – and fiercely intelligent, as well.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” She bit into her donut, the corners of her lips still drawn upwards.

* * *

“So here’s what I really can’t figure out,” Roxanne said, surrounded by books about him-- about Megamind.

“Yes?” he asked, putting down his own book. It wasn’t doing a very good job of representing him anyway.

“So Megamind created an invention that gives people Metro Man-like powers, right? And he doesn’t want to be hit by it himself, presumably because it might react weird with his alien DNA. But why would he make such a thing in the first place?”

“Well, who knows.” He shrugged, shoving the book away with the toe of his shoe. “No one could hope to figure out the way he thinks.”

She barked out a laugh. “Yeah, I guess you’re right about that. Are you done with that book, by the way?”

“Yeah. Nothing useful in it.”

Roxanne nodded, leaning down to grab a target. “Alright. You know the drill, then.”

He rolled his eyes but complied. Focused on the wooden target, glared at it with all his power. It took a moment or two, but finally the lasers came as commanded, forming a clump of ice on the wood.

“Hmm. Took a bit, and the aim is a little off.” She inspected the wood, then chucked it over at him. “Now crush it, big guy.”

“Demanding, aren’t you?” he joked back, a grin on his face. The target, he held between his hands and crushed effortlessly.

“It works, doesn’t it?” She picked her book back up, gesturing at a pile of other books with her foot. “Time for the next one.”

Megamind grumbled, moving to sit up to grab a fresh book from the pile. Then he paused. Thought it over for a moment.

“What are you waiting for?” Roxanne asked, a little impatiently, looking at him over the top of her book. “They’re not gonna come to you.”

“No, they won’t.” He pushed himself off of the floor, trying to focus on the float-y feeling of flight. Or… anti-gravity, he supposed was a more accurate name. “But I figured I might as well use the last power we know of, too.”

“Ah, good thinking.” Her eyes darted to the space between him and the floor, then up to where he was spinning in place. “It definitely needs some more work.”

“Uh huh.” He managed to stop the spinning, trying to tilt towards the books. But actually moving in that direction proved a little harder.

He kept trying to mentally force himself in that direction for a few long moments, then huffed. Flapping his arms wildly, in a motion not unlike swimming, he managed to drag himself over there, making sure not to touch the floor lest he accidentally ground himself again.

“Good attempt,” Roxanne commented from behind her book. ‘Megamind’s War’, huh? Sounded interesting enough.

“Thanks.” He came to a stop over the pile of untouched books, flipping over slightly due to the inertia. “Did we have a system for which ones have priority?”

“Nah, just go for whatever looks or sounds good. We’ll go through all of them with time.”

“Right, right.” He hung upside down, reaching for one of the books lying on top. ‘Megamind Unmasked’ sounded like it could be either very interesting, or absolutely terrible. And who could judge that better than Megamind himself?

Unfortunately he’d been so focused on the book that he forgot about his flying, and thus dropped face-first into the pile.

“Well,” Roxanne said, lowering her book again. “It’s a good thing that invulnerability comes standard, huh?”

Megamind, lying on his stomach, pulled a book that had miraculously found its way to his head off again.

“Yeah,” he agreed, “Yeah, that’s a very good thing.”

* * *

“Are you sure that this is a good idea?” he asked uncertainly, looking around the empty room.

“You gotta learn somehow, right?” Roxanne flicked the light switch, lighting up the empty school gym. “It’s the weekend, no one will come here. Unless you would prefer to practice outside?”

Images of uncontrollably flying in the open air floated though his mind.

“No, this is fine actually,” he quickly said. “I’m all for this.”

“Good.” She patted him on the shoulder, then turned the motion into dragging him further into the room. “Let’s go, then.”

“Yes ma’am.”

She let go of him in the center of the room, distancing herself a little. “Not sure why you didn’t want to put on sportier clothes, but I guess this is it. Ready to fly properly, Bernard?”

“Not really, no.” He straightened his jacket, then his shoulders. Of course he couldn’t put on different clothes, not without altering the disguise by hand. And he _could_ have done that, sure, but… he kind of liked the jacket. Its airy flappy-ness was as close to a cape as he could get with regular clothing. “But let’s do it anyway.”

In the last few days of practicing – both with Roxanne and while in the lair – he had more or less gotten a grip on floating on command. Everything else – including _stopping_ with floating – was much harder to control. He had been complaining about this to Roxanne while on the phone, which had led to… well, this.

An attempt at a flying lesson, taught by a person who had only experience being carried, and himself, who had only ever flown while held or on a hover bike.

Megamind focused, and felt his feet leave the ground.

“There you go!” Roxanne said, enthusiastic despite the fact that she must’ve seen Wayne do the same tons of times already. “Now fly, Bernard! Fly!”

“I’m _working_ on it!” he yelled back despite himself, trying to straighten himself out in a terrible parody of Metro Man. “This isn’t as easy as it looks!”

He started inching forward, wobbly and uneven, but making progress all the same. His shoe skimmed over the floor of the gym and he jerked further upwards.

“Well, practice makes perfect, doesn’t it?” She grinned, wide, her eyes bright with joy. “And you’re one of the smartest people I know, Bernard. You’ll figure it out.”

“_We_ can figure this out,” he corrected absentmindedly. Bernard was one of the smartest people she knew? Who were the rest? Oh, right, she was counting Megamind as a separate person, of course. “Don’t dismiss your own part in this!”

She laughed, and Megamind melted a little at the sound. How _good_ it felt, to make her laugh like that! “Yeah, okay. _We_. That better, Bernard?”

“Much.” He banked, barely brushing past a wall. He had sped up a little, but his flight remained uneven and shaky. “This is so much more challenging that I thought it would be!”

“What, the time you spent trying to figure it out up to now hadn’t clued you in?”

Megamind tried slowing down, but instead came to a full stop abruptly, and flipped over himself until he hung upside down. “No, for some reason it hadn’t.”

Roxanne patted his limp hand, which she could barely reach, with a mocking smile on her face. “Well, I’m afraid that that’s on you.”

“Yes, well--” He crashed down on the floor next to her, having suddenly lost his flight. “--_oof_.”

“Are you alright?” She bent over a little, a worried frown on her face. “I mean, I know you’re invulnerable, but…”

He groaned, pressing the back of his head against the floor. “I’ll be better when I’ve got this under control, I can tell you that much.”

That startled a laugh out of her. Still, she reached out a hand, which Megamind gratefully accepted, and she pulled him back to his feet.

“You wanna give that another shot, Bernard?”

“Don’t think I’ve got much of a choice, do I?” He shook his head, hoping that the motion would stop her from noticing the completely unwanted upwards tilt to his lips. “You’re going to make me learn whether I want to or not.”

“Yes, well, true.” She huffed, crossing her arms in something that was _almost_ a genuinely frustrated expression. “But we both know that you want to learn as much as I want you to learn.”

“Well, it _would_ be nice to be able to go outside without having to be afraid of suddenly floating away…”

She shook her head, then shoved him rather ineffectively; much like Metro Man, Megamind’s powers allowed him to stand unhindered. “Go, Bernard.”

“Going, going.” He backed up a little, raising his hands defensively. When she looked like she might cross the newly made distance, he pushed himself off and up. The feeling of flight, of anti-gravity, became increasingly easy to grasp.

Holding on to it was harder, though, with how easy it was to get distracted and forget.

“And stay there!” she shouted after him, raising her fist threateningly.

Thus motivated, Megamind found himself flying laps through the gym once more. Still a little wobbly, and if his hover bike was so unresponsive while steering he definitely would’ve thought something wrong. But, overall, he thought it wasn’t too bad.

Or, well. He thought so until a rubber ball bounced off of the wall right in front of his face.

He might’ve yelped as he came to an immediate halt. But, to his credit, he _did_ manage to stop himself from spinning before he’d flipped all the way over.

“What was that?!” he yelled at Roxanne, his voice a little too high pitched for his comfort. He twisted himself right-side up again.

“Well, you’re going to have to learn to steer too! There are buildings outside, you know?” Roxanne was idly tossing up another ball, and Megamind watched as she caught it again, effortlessly. “Thought I could lend a hand.”

“And you didn’t think you should _warn_ me?” He dropped, suddenly, but he caught himself before he hit the ground. Right. Focus on the flying, Megamind. “I would’ve appreciated the warning!”

“Megamind’s not gonna give you a warning when he finds out!” Roxanne bounced the ball in her hand again, a devious grin on her face. Oh, evil heaven, was this what she would be like as an evil queen? His heart fluttered a little at the thought. “Whether you want to be a hero or not, Bernard, you’ll have to learn to dodge when things are thrown at you.”

“Because I’m _so_ good at flying already?” He barely got to finish the sentence before Roxanne lobbed the ball at him, and, with another yelp, he let himself drop a foot to dodge it. “Rox_anne_!”

“Yes, Bernard?” she asked, voice sweet as honey. She reached out next to her, and when she turned back, she held another ball.

Which, of course, was the moment Megamind realized that she had a whole _rack_ of the things next to her.

He blanched – he must’ve, the projection was made to stay accurate to his expression – and Roxanne’s grin grew wider. The rubber ball bounced off of the floor with a rather characteristic rubber-y _boing_ noise.

Before he knew it, the ball was speeding towards him. He darted a glance at the floor, but he was too low--

Megamind tried dodging upwards, instead, but he’d wasted too much time. It hit him on the ankle, bouncing off with an insulting _twoing_ noise. He glared at it was if the ball was to blame instead of Roxanne, but made sure to close his eyes before he shot it with those infernal lasers.

“Point for me,” Roxanne declared, underlining the statement with another audible bounce of a rubber sports-ball.

Puffing out his chest, Megamind turned back to face her, settling his hands on his hips. “I didn’t know this was a competition!”

“It is now.” She smirked at him, catching the ball on its upward bounce and instead tossing it over to her other hand. “Get ready to lose, Bernard.”

Feeling something of a competitive streak raise its head, Megamind grinned down at her. “Me, lose? Which one of us had superpowers again?”

“Those aren’t going to save you from _me_,” she said, another rubber ball whirling through the air to underline the last word.

He yelped, attempting some kind of dodge-roll but in midair. It wasn’t the most graceful thing he’d done, perhaps, but it had worked. The ball bounced off of the wall with a noise that could almost be considered disappointed.

“Good dodge,” Roxanne complimented. “Now keep it up!”

Eyes widening, Megamind attempted another upwards dodge. This time he pulled his legs in too, curling up into a ball. It worked to evade the ball, but he’d been so focused on doing so that he immediately dropped lower.

“Worse, but I’ll allow it!”

“Working on it!” he shouted back, bracing himself on the wall with one hand as he accidentally turned to far.

Then another ball came speeding at him, and he realized--

The soles of his shoes clacked against the wall, and he really wasn’t in a good position to push himself off, but he didn’t need to be. His super strength compensated plenty.

“Ha!” he laughed, speeding across the empty space. “Now who’s--”

He cut himself off as Roxanne launched another ball.

Oh no. He was caught in the open space, rapidly losing speed. How was he supposed to dodge _this_ one?

Megamind rolled, attempting to somehow corkscrew around the ball. He didn’t have the flexibility, he knew, couldn’t arc far enough for it to actually miss, but--

But it _did_. He somehow arced his back, bent his spine far beyond what it was normally capable of, and the ball whizzed past him.

“Oh,” he said, blankly, eyes tracking the ball as it bounced off of the ceiling and then back down.

“Wow Bernard, I didn’t know you were that flexible!” Footsteps sounded as Roxanne ran closer to him, her flats slapping against the hard floor. “You looked like an acrobat!”

“I-- _I_ didn’t know I was that flexible,” he muttered back, perplexed.

Which was, of course, the moment he forgot to think about staying airborne.

He smacked down onto the floor, limbs splayed far apart. Roxanne, already close, looked down at him.

“What do you mean, you didn’t know you were that flexible?”

“I mean, I _know_ I wasn’t that flexible before.” He pushed himself up into a seated position, but didn’t bother climbing back onto his feet. “My spine shouldn’t have been able to do that!”

“So you’re saying that it’s, what, a final superpower?” She frowned, now, but in thought. When she spoke up again, her tone was considering. “I suppose that we hadn’t figured out what your equivalent to super speed was.”

Megamind snorted. “Ah, so _he_ got super speed, and I get a very flexible spine. A solid trade-off, if I must say.”

“Don’t be sour.” She jabbed him with her shoe, and he swatted her away halfheartedly. “Maybe it’s a full enhanced flexibility thing?”

“Wow, flexibility,” he said, tone flat. Still, he supposed her suggestion made more sense than just getting a flexible spine out of the deal.

On the other hand, the universe clearly hated him. Even if it _did_ allow him to spend so much time around Roxanne Ritchi, these days.

“Are you going to get up, or are you gonna mope all day?”

“Oh, uh.” He scrambled up onto his feet, then experimentally stretched his spine. “Right. Sorry.”

She shook her head, but the smile on her face was more fond than anything else. “You got more up to go, Bernard.”

He rolled his eyes but pushed himself back into the air. “Are you going to pelt me with dodge balls again?”

“Hmm.” She walked back to where she had left the rack. “No, I don’t think I will.”

Megamind heaved a relieved sigh. “Oh, good, because--”

A solid ball impacted him right in the chest, and he blew the rest of the sentence out in one gusty breath. His arms automatically folded around the object, clutching it to his chest.

“What happened to _no_, Roxanne?” he asked, a wheeze to his breath, as he pulled the ball away from himself again.

“I said no to the dodge balls.” The smirk on her face was one befitting a villain, if Megamind had to be honest. “I said nothing about not throwing _other_ things at you.”

“Oh.” He looked down at the ball in his hands. White and black checkered… soccer? He dropped it, grimacing. “Should’ve figured.”

“I told you, Bernard, you have to learn.” A basketball bounced on the floor as she passed it from one hand to the other. “I’m just raising the stakes!”

“Didn’t you tell me that Megamind would kill me if he found out?” he bit back, incredulously. “How is _this_ raising the stakes?!”

“Direct result.” The ball returned to her hand, and she wound her arm back. “Now _dodge_!”

Ah, no! Once again, he was in the middle of the open space!

He eeped, then attempted to jerk to the side, scrambling to get all his limbs out of the way of the projectile.

“Huh,” Roxanne said. “I’m definitely going for superhuman flexibility for your last power, Bernard.”

“What?” He followed her gaze to his own limbs, and, uh, hm. Yes, she had a point. “Oh, yes, it definitely seems that way.”

Somehow, in his (successful!) attempt to evade the ball, he’d folded himself into a ball. _Backwards_.

“Can you… untangle yourself again?” Roxanne hesitantly asked, after a long moment of silence.

“What?” he repeated, blinking numbly. “Oh, uh. Hang on.” He twitched his arms, then his legs, and then somehow managed to free them all back to their normal positions. “No, I’ve got it.”

“Oh, good.” She sounded genuinely relieved, which lifted Megamind’s heart for all of three seconds until she followed it up with, “Here comes the next one, then.”

His eyes shot back to her, and he caught the tail-end of her wind-up as she launched another ball at him.

Figuring that his newfound flexibility was a boon for dodging, but one he couldn’t consciously control, he just… blindly followed his instincts to avoid the ball.

And, once more, he twisted and bent in ways he was sure were only possible thanks to his powers.

“Good job!” Roxanne complimented him. She didn’t give him a chance to enjoy it, however, because she started chucking the balls faster and faster.

Relying blindly on his gut instead of his mind was a little vexing, Megamind had to admit, but the results were undeniable. The flexibility didn’t come alone, but he now had the agility to back it up. He could twist and twirl and bend on a dime, as long as he didn’t think too hard about it.

He was broken out of his concentration by a whistle from Roxanne. Not like a game whistle, but an… impressed whistle?

Of course this distraction was enough for him to falter in his flight again. For the third time that day, he thudded back onto the floor.

“Sorry, sorry.” Roxanne bustled over to him, clearly apologetic. “I didn’t mean to distract you, Bernard. But that looked _very_ impressive.”

“It did?” he asked despite himself, pushing himself into a seated position again. “I just kind of… went with the flow.”

“Well, it looked darn good, that’s for sure.” She offered him a hand, and when he accepted it, pulled him back to his feet. “Very graceful. Until you fell out of the air, of course.”

“Of course,” he repeated grumpily, but without heat. “Did that satisfy your need to train me into dodging?”

She hummed thoughtfully, eyes half-lidded and one finger tapping on her chin. After a moment, entirely too long, she nodded. “Yes, I suppose that you’ve got a good enough grip on both flight and dodging. For now, at least.”

“Oh, brilliant.” He heaved a sigh, long and gusty. “I could really use a break.”

“Why, Bernard, I thought you enjoyed spending time with me?”

He huffed. “Yes, I enjoy working with you. No, I don’t enjoy getting pelted by sports objects.”

She rolled her eyes, but smiled. “Oh, well, alright. Although I just stuck to the balls. If I really wanted to teach you I would’ve gone for some of the other things, get a little more variety going.”

“Please, no.” He held up his hands as if they could protect him from Roxanne’s well-meant help. “Why don’t we go back to attempting to figure out Megamind’s evil plan?”

Roxanne’s expression told him that she saw straight through his feeble defense, but she nodded her approval anyway. “Well, if you insist. Come on, then. We’ve got plenty of books still waiting for us.”

“Oh, yes, joy.” Now that he thought about it, maybe those dry books filled with lies and things he already knew weren’t an improvement over this.

Ah well, too late now.


	5. Everybody's gonna know my name

“I… don’t think this is a good idea,” Megamind murmured, looking at the two bikes Roxanne held. “I mean, with my powers, and all that.”

“You need a break, Bernard.” Roxanne quirked a challenging brow at him. “And, honestly? So do I. Come on, it’ll be fine, relax.”

He made a disbelieving face at her.

“Come on, don’t look at me like it’s gonna kill you.” She scoffed, rolling the red bike closer to him so he could take it from her. “See, you’ve got training wheels as well. Nothing could happen to you.”

“Nothing can happen to me?” He rolled his eyes, accepting the bike anyway. “There are _so many_ things that could go wrong here, Roxanne!”

“Wow, Bernard, I never knew you were such a baby.” She smirked at him, wide and devious. “Maybe I should’ve asked Hal instead.”

“Oh, don’t even joke about that.” He swung his leg over the bike, clambering on it with a decent amount of grace. This, at least, was similar to riding a motorcycle. “We both know what you think of that guy.”

She laughed as she got on her own bike. “Yeah, you’re right. There _is_ a reason why you’re my partner, Bernard.”

He ignored the spark of joy in his chest, instead leaning his arms onto the handlebars of the bike. “Oh, is that so? Are you sure you’re not using me for my knowledge of Megamind?”

“Hmm.” She made a thoughtful face as she pretended to think about it. “You know what, I’ll get back to you.”

And before he could reply, she pushed off and sped away.

“Hey, wait up!” he yelped after her, trying to mimic the action. He didn’t quite get as much speed as she had, but he was moving, at least.

They rode down the path, her leading the way and him struggling to keep up. At least the road mostly sloped downwards, so when he kept slipping off of the pedals, he could keep _some_ momentum going, still.

Roxanne glanced over her shoulder at him, laughing. “You don’t get out much, do you?”

He laughed, turning his eyes downwards in an attempt to get his feet back where they were supposed to go. He went out plenty, he thought, but this was _different_. Going out as Megamind, alone or with Minion, it just… it wasn’t the same as this, with Roxanne.

“Oh, what fun!” he yelled back, instead. He couldn’t hope to put his feelings into words, and even if he could… he couldn’t _tell_ her. If she knew who he was…

Having finally recaptured the pedals, he started catching up to Roxanne. Ringing the bell playfully as he caught up, he realized that it wasn’t because _he_ was going faster, but because _she_ was slowing down.

His gleeful smile slipped off of his face as she stopped entirely. Catching up fully, he came to a halt next to her.

“I used to come here with my mother when I was a kid,” she said before he’d even stopped fully. Her tone was… sad, distraught. “It was one of my favorite things to do.”

He followed her gaze, looking over the enormous empty field of grass. Or, well, not _empty_. It was covered with trash, empty cups and wads of paper littered everywhere.

“Now look at it. It’s a dump.”

A single glance at her showed him that she wasn’t just a _little_ sad about it. And he couldn’t-- he couldn’t _stand_ it, seeing Roxanne look so sad.

Megamind hadn’t realized the impact that he’d had on this city, taking over. He’d told them, after all, to continue their normal lives! Why hadn’t they done as he’d asked?! Why had they upset Roxanne so?!

“Maybe,” he tried hesitantly, hoping to cheer her up, “Maybe something could be… done?”

“Maybe.” She shook her head, before visibly tearing her gaze away to look at him. “But it can’t be _us_. We’re too… busy. It’ll have to wait.”

“Yeah…” Well, not _them_, maybe, but… he _did_ have a large assortment of brainbots. “Maybe someone else will have the same idea?”

Roxanne hummed, but the thought didn’t seem to cheer her up much. “Well, maybe. Sorry, Bernard, but I’m not really feeling this anymore.”

“Ah, yes, I understand.” He raised a hand, then paused with it hovering over her shoulder. When she didn’t dodge away from it, he put it down, carefully. “It’ll be… alright, Roxanne.”

She huffed out a disbelieving breath, but then turned and shot him a grateful look. “Yeah. We’ll make sure it’ll be.”

* * *

Instructing the brainbots to clean up all trash turned out easier than expected. Dodging Minion’s suspicious look afterwards, however, was a little harder.

“Sir, why are the Brainbots cleaning up the city?”

“Hmm? Oh, well…” He gestured at the screens, where the stacks of trash all around the city were clearly visible. “We don’t want the city to look like a dump, do we? How embarrassing would that be, if I was brought down because I tripped over a piece of trash?”

Minion narrowed his eyes. “You can fly.”

“Well, but I’m not _alone_, am I?” He flapped a dismissive hand. “Besides, Minion, imagine how terrible fights against the Good would look if the entire backdrop was rubbish?”

The fish made a disbelieving expression, like he didn’t quite believe Megamind’s lie. Still, he fluttered his fins and said, “I suppose not, Sir. But do you really expect a Do-Gooder to rise up against us?”

“Oh, sooner or later one will come.” He turned away, focusing on his worktable. “Now, please, I’m trying to work here.”

“Of course you are.” Heavy footsteps sounded as Minion left away, and Megamind let out a relieved sigh. Then he peeled off the upside-down blueprint, revealing what he had actually been working on: a map of the museum, detailing which pieces were missing and where they belonged.

* * *

He took his hands off of Roxanne’s eyes, ignoring the jitters in his stomach at this very different way of blinding her.

Roxanne looked around, her eyes growing increasingly wider.

“They’re all back,” she whispered, starting to move forwards like she didn’t quite believe what she saw.

As she walked, and he followed, she turned back to face him, arms spread wide. “But how? Why?”

“Maybe Megamind isn’t so bad after all,” he said, tone carefully neutral. He wanted her to like him, the _real actual_ him, but she couldn’t know. Couldn’t realize that one was the same as the other.

She laughed a little, somewhat dismissively, but didn’t protest. That was something, at least.

Instead she pointed at one of the paintings, walking towards it as she talked a little about it. About its origins, its story, the meaning…

Quite frankly, he wasn’t really paying attention to what she said, just to her voice. He sped after her, smiling. He could spent hours – _had_ spent hours – listening to her talk about something she cared about.

* * *

“Hey Bernard, catch!”

“What--” was all he managed before a chunk of reflective metal came hurtling at him. He dropped the book in his hands as he scrambled to stop it from hitting him right in the face. Damn Roxanne and her impeccable aim! Also damn him for forgetting that he’s invulnerable!

“What’s this?” he asked her, looking at the metal in his hand. Warm in color, something close to brown with a reddish undertone… copper?

“It’s copper,” Roxanne confirmed, looking over at him from where she was sitting. Books were stacked all around them – they really should put all of those away before they left. “I was wondering if you had the same weakness as Metro Man.”

Megamind blinked dully. “But… _is_ copper a weakness of his? Since he faked his death?”

“Oh. Hm.” Roxanne tapped her cheek with one finger, looking thoughtful. “No, I suppose it isn’t. Couldn’t you have thought of that sooner?”

“I _would’ve_, if you told me this _before_ you pelted me with a chunk of metal!” He crushed the ball of copper for good measure, pieces of it raining down on her floor. “See, totally ineffectual!”

She clicked her tongue. “Well, at least we know it’s not a weakness of yours if Megamind tries it?”

“But why would it be, if it’s not Metro Man’s?”

“Well, your powers aren’t identical either.” She cocked a brow at him. “And either way, _Megamind_ doesn’t know that copper wasn’t a weakness of Metro Man, since he doesn’t know Wayne faked his death. So Megamind is likely to try it against you, so we had to make sure it wasn’t _really_ a weakness for you.”

He opened his mouth to debate the point. Then he paused, and closed it again. Megamind wouldn’t use copper because _he_ was Megamind, so he knew that copper wouldn’t work.

That, and also because he had no plans to fight himself. That one time in the lair was enough of a hassle already, thank you very much. And Minion was already catching on to his lie of just spending time with Roxanne to learn about his powers.

“What happened to figuring out my powers first, and _then_ figuring out if I’m up to fight Megamind?” he finally settled on, after a pause that was almost certainly too long for the conversation.

Roxanne rolled her eyes, looking back up from the book she’d picked up again. “Bernard… don’t you remember the lair, when you stood up to him without powers? Or the museum, when you inspired me that _we_ could fight Megamind, powers or not? What happened to that?”

He hadn’t been thinking of _them_, he thought.

“We just… don’t know what he’s planning,” he said.

“What, so you’re scared because Megamind has a plan?” She scoffed. “He always has a plan. That doesn’t mean anything.”

Megamind shook his head dismissively. “A plan involving giving someone superpowers like Metro Man, involving complete silence for weeks on end?” Not that those two were linked, or not in _that_ way at least, but _she_ didn’t have to know that. She _didn’t_ know that, in fact.

She made a face as she considered that. “Still. All the more reason to figure him out and stop him.”

“Like it’s just _that_ easy.” He rapped his fingers on the cover of the book, direly missing his gloves and cape to fidget with. It _wasn’t_ easy, that was the whole point. She wasn’t allowed to figure it out, not ever.

Well, the initial plan, _maybe_. Maybe if she figured out that the new superhero was supposed to fight Megamind she would see it for a trap and stop him from going.

Or maybe she would be her normal Roxanne Ritchi self and insist on both of them going and catching him – Megamind him – off guard. Also a distinct possibility.

But, no. She definitely wasn’t allowed to figure out the reason for his extended silence. He _wanted_ to go out, of course. Even if ruling the city wasn’t what he’d been expecting, and even if it had grown more sour after his discovery that he hadn’t won at all, that Metro Man had simply _let _him win…

He couldn’t risk going out and having his powers malfunction. It had become tons better, sure, but he still slipped up at the worst of times. And he only needed to be caught _once_ accidentally using his powers as Megamind for Roxanne to connect the dots.

If Roxanne saw Megamind using _any_ of the powers that Bernard had gained…

No, it was not something he was willing to risk.

Besides… the alternative was so very alluring. Spending time with Roxanne instead of harassing the city? It could barely even be considered a choice.

“Of course it’s not _easy_. But when has that ever stopped us?” Seeing his doubtful look, she rolled her eyes. “When has that ever stopped _me_?”

He shot her a fondly exasperated look. “Ah, how could I ever have doubted your spitfire nature, Roxanne.”

“Darn right.” She nudged him in the leg with her foot. “Now go. The sooner we get through these books, the sooner we can figure out what kind of devious plan Megamind is working up to.”

“Oh, alright.” He opened his book, stifling the sigh at reading _more_ dull lies and uncreative twists. “But only because I really do not want to discover what this has all been leading up to when it’s already too late to stop it.”

She laughed. “That’s the spirit!”

* * *

Megamind idly picked at a strand of the blanket that Roxanne had spread out on the floor. “So, what was the point of this again?”

“We’re having a picnic,” she cheerily declared. “But the weather has been terrible lately, so we’re doing it inside instead.”

“Ah, I see.” He didn’t, really. What was the purpose of a ‘picnic’ again? “But can it really be considered a… picnic… if we’re not outside?”

She clicked her tongue, then lifted up a large wicker basket. “Of course it can! We have everything to make it a proper picnic! A blanket,” she gestured at the large piece of cloth, red and white checkered and charmingly hideous, “a picnic basket,” she held up the basket, “and good company!”

“Oh,” he said, inadvertently, a blush crawling onto his false face. “I… see.”

“And now we’re going to sit down and have a good time, Bernard, even if it kills me.” She sat down with force, then smoothed out the blanket.

Then, suddenly, she wrapped her arm around his elbow and tugged, pulling them both onto their backs. Megamind fell over, spluttering, flapping his hands but managing to refrain from using any of his powers.

“_Roxanne_,” he said complaintively, now flat on his back. “_Why_.”

“It’s part of the picnic fun.” She stretched out a little, clearly comfortable despite the hard floor underneath the blanket. “Come on, don’t tell me you’ve never picnicked before.”

“Well…”

She shook her head. “Oh, you haven’t lived, Bernard. I swear, it’s like someone set out to give you the most boring, sheltered life possible. If I didn’t know any better, I could’ve sworn you grew up in a prison.”

He laughed, hesitantly. “Ha, yeah. Imagine that.”

“Well…” She sat up again, pulling the basket closer. “I suppose we might as well start with lunch.”

“Oh, sure.” He took the sandwich she handed him, attempting to conspicuously open it up to look at its contents. Not stealthy enough, apparently, because Roxanne snorted.

“I made sure it was something you liked, Bernard.” She tilted her head, a cocky smile on her face. “Unless you don’t trust me?”

“Why, I would never!” He abandoned his attempt, instead taking a bite and hoping she’d been right. Ooh, tuna.

“See, I told you so.” Her grin only got more cocky, and he swallowed his food so he could stick his tongue out at her. “Oh, mature, Bernard.”

“The mature-est.” He nodded, then resumed eating.

Roxanne unwrapped a sandwich of her own, and they sat in silence for a bit as they ate in the comfort of each other – and of Roxanne’s comfortable apartment.

Megamind, admittedly, also spent a bit of time looking around. He’d been to Roxanne’s apartment before, of course, but visiting it as a kidnapper or as a _partner_ were two very different things! And interior design could tell you so many things about the person – or people – who lived there.

For example, the worn but soft couch showed that Roxanne cared more about comfort than appearances. Or that she didn’t get a whole lot of guests. Hm.

After she finished her food, Roxanne laid back down on the blanket. Hesitantly, Megamind followed her example, tugging at his jacket to straighten it out a little.

“This would be a lot more convincing if you had more plants in here,” he blurted out, still caught up in his investigation of her room. To be fair, he didn’t have a whole lot of plants in the lair either, but not for lack of trying. The brainbots just loved chewing on them! And it was a hassle to constantly replace them!

“Are you criticizing my living room?” she asked, laughing. “I invite you over, and this is how you repay me?”

“No?” he tried, shoulders creeping up. “Or, uh, yes? One of those, I’m sure.”

She laughed even louder. “Oh, you’re a piece of work, aren’t you? I’d love to see your apartment, then, Mr. Interior Designer.”

“Ah, well… Maybe another time.” He tried for a sheepish smile. “It’s a bit of a mess, and we’re having such a lovely picnic right now.”

“Oh, we are, are we?” She grinned at him, their heads turned so they could look at each other.

“Hmm.” He raised his hands, playing them underneath his head to cushion it a little. “So what’s next on the picnic schedule?”

“Well, I think we’ll skip the frisbee and other outside games, because I don’t want to break a window.”

“You’re not afraid of one of _us_ falling through a window, then?” He raised his head a little so he quirk a brow at her. “Just of a toy going through them?”

She rolled her eyes. “Well, last time I checked, you could fly, Bernard. And I’m sure that you would catch me, if it ever came to that.”

His stomach sank to his shoes, and he laughed, hoping to disguise it. “Yes, well, let’s hope it never comes to that.”

“Amen to that,” she said cheerily, like she hadn’t just told him that she trusted him with her life.

Megamind laid his head back down, staring up at the ceiling. Hmm. _That_ doesn’t look great, either. Maybe he should send some of the brainbots over later to make sure nothing was _too_ lacking in maintenance. Couldn’t let Roxanne get hurt from faulty electronics, could he?

Roxanne hummed, her hands folded together on her stomach. “Well, I don’t know about you, Bernard, but I’m kind of tired of staring at this ceiling.”

“Well, there _is_ a lot to see,” he said, just to be contrary. It was the truth, though! There was a lot to see! But most of those he really, _really_, hadn’t cared to see in the first place. “But I’m not opposed to moving on to the next picnic activity if you want to.”

She laughed again. “Oh, aren’t you a charmer?”

“Aren’t I?” he repeated, turning his head so he could smirk and wink at her.

Still laughing, she shoved him, and he let himself be pushed, dramatically falling over.

“Actually… you know what?” She laid on her back again, hands fidgeting with her own fingers. “I… You know, Metro Man and I… we were never a couple.”

Megamind felt like his heart had stopped. He jerked upright, then flailed as he accidentally flew up and off of the blanket altogether. His flight quickly quit, though, and he thumped back onto the blanket. “What?” he asked, ignoring the whole spectacle to focus on what she said. “But I thought you two were--”

“I know,” Roxanne said, interrupting him. “Everybody did. It’s just…” She shrugged, her shoulders hunched in. “He was never really my type.”

“Really?” Megamind swallowed heavily, trying to force his heart to calm down. Just because she wasn’t into Metro Man didn’t mean he had a chance. Because… what _about_ him wasn’t her type? That he was an alien, like Megamind? That he had powers, like Bernard?

He laid down again, trying to shove the thoughts out of his head. He shouldn’t. He shouldn’t think about all that. He should just… appreciate all he had.

Roxanne huffed out a laugh. “Okay, now you tell me something.”

She rolled over, onto her side, keeping herself upright by leaning on her arms. “Something you’ve never told anyone.”

Pausing briefly, Megamind considered this. It was a perfect opportunity-- But he shouldn’t. He really, really, shouldn’t.

“Well, in sh--” he drew out the sh-sound, remembering the way Roxanne had pronounced it earlier. “--School,” he finished, lamely.

Roxanne nudged him, encouragingly, and laid down next to him.

“In school… none of the other kids really liked me.” Roxanne’s arm pressed against his own, and her hand crept onto his own. He ignored the blush that threatened to creep onto his face. “I was always the last one picked for everything.”

She hummed. “Well, it’s too bad that we didn’t go to the same school.” She shifted even closer, her head right next to his own. He turned his own head, looking at her with wide eyes.

“Yes,” he finally said. “Yes, that is… a shame.”


	6. I am not afraid to try

“Bernard!” she shouted, holding up the plastic bag with food when he looked up. “Sorry that I’m late!”

“Roxanne!” he greeted her back, a soft smile on his face. “Wow! Your hair looks _exciting_.”

She laughed, placing the bag on the table between them. The gazebo they were sitting in wasn’t the most sheltered spot, but at least it was dry, and with the weather as bad as it was, private. Which wasn’t something she normally really cared about, but Bernard’s grip on his powers could still use some work, and they hadn’t wanted to risk Megamind finding out before Bernard was ready.

And now, she was glad of their precautions.

“Yes, well, it’s not the only exciting development of the night.”

“Oh?” He leaned forward, curiosity sparking bright in his green eyes.

“Megamind _wanted_ to create a new hero,” she said, grinning wide, “and I know why.”

Bernard jerked back, but she wasn’t entirely sure why. They already thought that this had been Megamind’s intention for the weapon, after all. Knowing that the weapon was a critical part of they plan they were trying to figure out wasn’t all that surprising, was it?

“It all makes sense now!” She threw out her hands, gesturing wildly. “He missed getting his butt kicked, so he created a new hero to kick it for him!”

“Uh huh.” Bernard nodded. “Well, wow. That’s a lot to take in.”

“Now we just have to decide on our next move,” she said decisively, placing her hands on the table. “We have the upper hand now.”

“Uh, what?” Bernard blinked at her, somewhat stupidly.

She rolled her eyes. “Well, we know his plan now. So we just have to figure out what we should do about it. I mean, we were planning on having you fight him, but if that’s what he wanted in the first place, maybe not…”

“I mean, I don’t know, Roxanne,” Bernard started stuttering. “I’m not sure if that’s-- I mean, if fighting him is what Megamind wanted, then perhaps we shouldn’t--”

“No, I got it.” She snapped her fingers. “We’ll fight him _together_. He might’ve planned on a human with powers – _you_ – but he won’t count on me. The element of surprise!”

“I-- Roxanne, I don’t think we should--” Bernard swallowed thickly. “I don’t think _I_ can. I mean, I don’t even have full control over my powers--”

“But you’ve been improving so much! Before you know it you’ll have mastered them!”

“--And _he_ couldn’t do it either,” Bernard finished decisively. “If _Metro Man_ couldn’t do it, then why would _I_ be able to do it?”

She scoffed dismissively. “_Wayne_ didn’t lose, he quit. He won against Megamind every time, even when he didn’t really bother or care to. And…”

Roxanne leaned in closer, arms flat on the table. “Bernard, you are so much braver than you think you are! Don’t you want people to know that about you, to know the _real_ you?”

“The _real_ me?” he echoed weakly, eyes blown so wide she could’ve sworn they were glowing in the poor light.

“Yeah.” She raised one hand off of the table again, gesturing with it. “I mean, the you that you’ve shown me! With the-- the bravery in the lair! And the brilliant idea in the museum? Don’t you want anybody to know about that, to know you beyond-- beyond that dull man who happens to know a lot about the cities supervillain?”

“I… guess?” Bernard shrugged, tugging on the edge of one of his sleeves. “But, I mean… I’m not Metro Man, Roxanne. I’m no hero.”

“Yeah,” she said, with heat in her voice, “You’re _better_ than him, Bernard. And yeah, you might not have full control yet, but that’ll come before you know it!”

She let out a laugh. “Besides, the first fight won’t amount to much anyway. Megamind will probably expect you to pack the same powers and weaknesses as Metro Man, not your own twist on them.” She winked. “Not that either of you have that weakness to copper, anyway.”

“… Right,” he mumbled. “Megamind… wouldn’t know about that.”

“See? And he usually has quite a bit of downtime in-between plans.” She settled back in her seat, sure that she’d convinced him now. She wasn’t sure why he was trying to scrabble back now, anyway. He had seemed so enthusiastic before! “Plenty of time for you to work on mastering control over your powers.”

“I…” Bernard stood up, suddenly, his chair falling over from the sudden movement. “I-- I really can’t.”

Pushing herself out of her chair, she stepped closer to him, heart clenching. “Bernard? What’s wrong?”

“I’m-- I can’t,” he repeated, shaking his head jerkily. “Roxanne, I… I’m not… I mean--”

“Bernard…” She grabbed for him, blindly, and caught his arm. “Bernard, please calm down. What’s wrong? What can I do to help?”

He made a pained noise, wide green eyes turning to stare at her. Almost soundlessly, he said, “Nothing. It’s all-- It’s all _my_ fault.”

She opened her mouth, intending to say something-- something soothing, something nice, something calming. But as her fingers slid down his arm, planning to tangle with his fingers, they got caught on his watch, and-- and--

Bernard, standing in front of her, wide-eyed, broke up into blue static and shattering fragments. Left in his place was…

“Megamind,” she gasped, incredulous and disbelieving, pulling her hand away from him. But how-- why--

“What?” he asked faintly, then he looked down at their hands and blanched.

“I-- Ugh!” She stepped back, blindly reaching for the bag of food. Her fingers curled around a tall object. Ah, the bottle of champagne she had brought, just for the occasion. Perfect.

She wrenched it out of the bag, flinging it at Megamind with all the force she could muster.

He must’ve raised his hands automatically, defensively, cowering behind them. The bottle still hit him right in his massive blue head.

It shattered, the shards of glass bouncing off of him harmlessly.

Invulnerability.

At least he was drenched in champagne?

“Wait!” he asked her, begged her almost, hands still up. “Roxanne, please, let me explain!”

“You _can’t_,” she hissed at him, then promptly whirled around and stormed off, food forgotten.

Outside, the weather had turned for the worse. Rain poured down, and she was drenched instantly. She spared only the briefest moment of regret for walking out so rapidly, thunder cracking in the distance, then kept going.

Footsteps splashed behind her, then quietened suddenly. For a moment she wondered about this--

And then Megamind was in front of her, floating like-- like Bernard did, like she’d taught him with so, _so_, much struggling.

“Wait, please!” he begged, looking at her with large green eyes. Oh, and how could she have failed to recognize that color? There was only one person in the _world_ with that shade of bright, unnatural green.

“No!” she snapped at him, clenching her fists and regretting every decision she’d made in her life that had brought her here. Why had she ever _appreciated _Megamind, liked him for his intellect? Thought him strangely caring for a villain, unwilling to ever actually endanger civilians? Clearly, clearly, he played a game far more painful than mere _bodily_ injuries.

“Just let me _explain_, please?” He waved his hands about, the movements so dramatic and expressive, and she wondered why she hadn’t ever connected the dots between her strangely emotional Bernard and, well, _him_?

“Why? What have you done to _deserve_ that, huh?” She stepped closer. “You took over the city,” she said, jabbing him in the chest and ignoring the way it didn’t give thanks to his invulnerability, “you _ravaged_ this place for _years_,” another jab, “and then! Then you actually got me to _care_ about you!”

She combed her hands through her hair, then threw them out, wildly. More quietly, she continued, “Why are you so _evil_? Tricking me? What could you _possibly_ hope to gain?” She narrowed her eyes at him. “How much of this was an act, huh? Was the plan even _real_, or were _you_ always the intended target? Was this all just-- just a funny _trick_, a huge massive _joke_?”

Megamind looked up at her, meeting her eyes with his own, large and watery. His lip pouted out, just slightly, and by god, could he look any more like a kicked puppy?

“Oh, I don’t believe this,” she said, dismissively, even though she knew, in heart, that it was true. “Megamind, do you really think that I would _ever_ be with you?”

He swallowed, then said, sad and pained and so quiet she could barely hear him over the sound of the rain, “No.”

Roxanne paused for another moment, waiting for the… the trick, the-- _whatever_ he had planned. When nothing came she jerked her head in a single nod, then walked past him.

Behind her, she could hear him land in a puddle, roughly, and then dragging footsteps as he left. She paused, briefly, to look over her shoulder at him.

He looked… miserable. In his wet leather, soaked by champagne and water, barely lifting his feet.

But she couldn’t… She couldn’t care about him.

He was a villain. Without him, they would never have been in this mess.

Taking a deep breath, she straightened her spine, looked forward, and left.

* * *

Megamind heaved a sigh, idly toying with a wrench that laid on his worktable. No matter how he tried, he couldn’t get himself to focus on his inventions.

What was the point of it, anyway? He had no hero to fight, _still_, and now he didn’t even have Roxanne to impress!

He tried batting the wrench away, frustrated, but accidentally used _way_ too much force and sent it flying. With an almost impressive noise it embedded itself into the steel wall of the lair, and Megamind flinched. Several of the brainbots looked up, interested, and a few floated over to attempt to fetch the wrench for him.

It just made him feel worse, so he ducked down his head and looked away, pretending it hadn’t happened.

“Sir?” Minion’s voice sounded from far away in the lair, echoing in the open spaces. “Are you alright?”

“Fine!” he shouted back, briefly glancing back over to the wrench. “It’s fine, Minion!”

“If you’re sure, Sir.” Heavy footsteps sounded as Minion wandered further away again, and Megamind let himself slump down even further.

Ugh, this was horrible. Why had he ever thought _any_ of this was a good idea? Didn’t he know by now that everything in his life always failed miserably, horribly? That the universe conspired against him, to make his life as terrible as possible?

Oh, why had he ever allowed himself to spend so much time with Roxanne? Why had he ever thought he could just… _pretend_, like she would never find out? She was the smartest person he knew. He should’ve _known_ that she would find out, eventually, one way or another.

“Bowg!” one of the brainbots barked next to him, and he startled at the sudden noise. And then suddenly found himself several feet away from where he’d been before, wheeling around mid-air.

The brainbot blinked its eye at him, then meekly floated after him, offering the wrench again.

“Oh,” he said, taking it from the brainbots claw. “You… want to play fetch?”

It bowged at him again, shaking its body in excitement.

He rolled his eyes, shifting the wrench in his grip. The metal was twisted, parts of it shredded. He, quite frankly, wasn’t sure how the brainbots had gotten it out of the wall so quickly.

“Alright then,” he tossed up the wrench, smoothly catching it again, then reeled back his arm. “Go fetch!”

The wrench sped off at speeds no human could’ve achieved, a cloud of brainbots eagerly chasing it. Megamind laughed, briefly, at the sight.

Then he remembered that he’d only achieved this because he’d messed up his brilliant superhero plan, and his heart clenched.

Oh, honestly, hadn’t he gone through enough of this-- this _mel-on-cholly_ yet? He’d gone through the whole thing when he thought he’d killed Metro Man, and _that_ turned out to have been unnecessary! Couldn’t he just… _skip_ the whole thing, now?

Apparently not, he thought gloomily. Then his powers decided to reflect his mood, _again_, and he promptly dropped back onto the lair’s hard floor.

And because _nothing_ in his life could ever go well, he managed to hit several metal shelves _and_ his worktable on the way down, creating an enormous ruckus, shrapnel raining down around him.

“Sir!” Minion called again, hasty footsteps approaching. “Sir, I heard--”

“I’m _fine_, Minion,” he told his henchfish. “Invulnerable, remember?”

Minion fluttered his fins, but puffed himself up a little anyway. “Yes, well, better safe than sorry, as they say.”

Megamind rolled his eyes, but pushed himself into a sitting position. “Well, despite my interest in it going away, it had yet to do so. I was fine, Minion, thank you.”

“I’m sorry, Sir, but you are _not_ fine.” He walked over closer, then offered one of his hands to Megamind. “_Something_ is going on, and it’s upsetting you.”

“I’m _fine_,” he repeated, accepting Minion’s hand and letting the fish pull him onto his feet. “It’s nothing.”

“Is it your powers?” Minion guessed, peering at Megamind with narrowed eyes. “Are they acting up? Are you losing control over them again?”

“Min_ion_,” he whined, shoving the metal body. “I’m _fine_.”

The fish in question couldn’t look less convinced if he’d tried.

“I am!” he insisted, imperiously straightening his collar. “My powers are-- Well, I’ve got them handled.”

Minion shifted in his bowl, eyes clearly moving to look at the hole Megamind had made with the wrench.

“Don’t give me that look.” He crossed his arms, staring down his best friend and wishing the fish could be slightly _less_ overbearing for once.

“Yes, well…” Minion turned back to face him properly, fins fluttering slightly. “Ah, perhaps you should… contact Roxanne for another meeting? Those seemed to work really well.”

Megamind could _feel_ the color drain from his face. He swallowed the apparent rock that had gotten lodged in his throat, then said, with as little emotion as he could, “I don’t think that that’s a good idea.”

“Why not, Sir?” Minion blinked at him, clearly confused. “They_ were_ working, weren’t they? Or did something… Did something happen?”

He didn’t answer, and Minion gasped, offended. “Something _did_ happen! Of course, that’s why you’ve been so upset. What do you want to do? Kidnap her? We don’t have a new plan set up, but I’m sure we could manage something, Sir, if you want to.”

“No.” He shook his head, letting his shoulders slump down. “No, I don’t want to see her, Minion.”

“Oh.” The fish hesitated briefly, uncertainly. “Then, ah. Perhaps we could…”

He paused, eyeing Megamind.

“Oh,” he said again, tilting his body like one might tilt their head. “Oh, I see.”

“See what?” Megamind bit back. “How this all went down the drain the moment I started thinking I could be _happy_ for once?

Minion jerked back, clearly startled by the sudden outburst. “No, Sir, don’t be-- That’s not what this is!”

“No?” he hissed, throwing out his arms. “Then how else would you explain this, Minion? The-- The powers, the fact that Metro Man faked his own _death_ just to stop the game. Rox--” He snapped his jaws shut before he could finish this last word, but Minion’s eyes narrowed, having clearly heard what he’d been about to say.

“Sir,” Minion said, clearly pained. “That’s not what this is. You can’t-- You cannot believe that this is all some sort of-- of _conspiracy_!”

“Why not!” He clawed at the back of his head, leather gloves digging into the impenetrable skin. “That would be just typical, wouldn’t it?! ‘Local vile alien can’t do a thing right in its sad, sad life!’, isn’t that what the news always comes down to?”

“No, Sir, and I know you know it too.” Minion wavered, like he wasn’t sure what to do. “This is all about Miss Ritchi, isn’t it? You-- You fell in love with her, didn’t you?”

Megamind barked out a laugh, humorless and bitter. “Yes, well, maybe I did! And maybe she went and told me exactly what she thought about that! About how disgusting, horrifyingly terrible she found that!”

Minion started, his fins moving jerkily in his bowl. “She-- She said that about what’s-his-name-- Bernard?”

“Ha! No, oh no.” He laughed again, shaking his head at the same time. “Oh, no, she was really into _Bernard_. So, so _courageous_, so _brave_, how he stood up to big bad Megamind! Too bad that that Bernard didn’t _exist_. Now _neither_ of us can get what we want! How--”

He huffed out a noisy breath. “How utterly and unbelievable _fantastic_. How glad I am to have hurt her, just like she hurt me.”

“You-- She-- Surely she didn’t…” Minion paused, uncertainly. “I mean, Sir, she has never been outright _cruel_, has she? Surely she didn’t--”

“Oh, no, she really said that,” he said, flatly. “That I would ‘never stand a chance’ and that I ‘couldn’t have ever thought that I had a chance with her, did I’?”

He chuckled, bitterly. “Yes, how I could I have. Like she could have ever been interested in-- in _me_.”

“Yes, well, she-- I mean.” Minion shook himself, like he was throwing off the thought. “Oh, Sir, I’m so sorry I didn’t realize before! I should’ve stopped this before any of this could happen.”

Megamind paused, frowning. Did Minion mean… that if he’d known what had been happening, exactly, that he wouldn’t have let him? That he hadn’t ever approved of… of Megamind’s interest in Roxanne? “What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s just--” Minion gestured aggravatedly. “I know you two were happy before this, Sir, but if I’d known… It would’ve been for your own good!”

“Oh, what do _you_ know,” he said, shortly, dismissively. No. The thought could not be borne. He’d just… messed it up, somehow. He could’ve made it work, if he hadn’t been so-- so _him_, the universe so against him.

“I may not know much, but I do know this.” Minion narrowed his eyes, posture stiff and tense. “The bad guy doesn’t get the girl.”

“Well,” Megamind said, drawing out the word, “Maybe I don’t want to be the bad guy anymore.”

Minion gasped, jerking back in his bowl. Around them, the brainbots barked out bowgs of surprise, too.

“You-- You cannot be serious, Sir!” Minion stepped forward, then seemed to change his mind and backed off again. “You can’t just-- What about your parents! To-- To _evil destiny_? Ruling the city?”

“’_Ruling the city’_” he echoed, bitingly. “Oh, like we were doing anything like that, Minion. We’ve just caused trouble and made messes all over the place! We were more of a danger to this city _before _we took over!”

“But, Sir! What would you even _do_, if you quit?” Minion shifted uneasily. “What would happen to all your inventions? To the brainbots?” The fish paused, briefly, then added, more quietly, “_Me_?”

Megamind shrugged, then flapped a dismissive hand. “Ah, what does it matter? Couldn’t be worse than this, could it?”

Minion opened his mouth to protest, but Megamind held up a hand to quieten him. “No. I don’t want to hear it, Minion.”

And before the fish could protest, Megamind whirled around, quickly pacing away. He could hear Minion’s suit creak as he shifted, but he didn’t follow.

Good. He just… wanted to think in peace.


	7. (you're gonna know my name, my story!)

Roxanne woke up with the familiar stuffy feeling of Knock-Out Spray, but thankfully without the stinky bag over her head. A small part of her was surprised at how nostalgic this all felt.

The rest was just pissed that Megamind had resorted to kidnapping her again, now that she’d blown him off. Now that he could no longer hide behind his false identity as Bernard.

But… Wait a minute, this didn’t look like the lair! And Megamind was nowhere to be seen! Only Minion, standing in front of her, looking… well, something between pissed off and put off. There weren’t even any brainbots, or none she could see, at least.

“What’s this?” she asked, sharply. “Where are we?”

“It doesn’t matter where we are,” Minion said dismissively. “We both know that Metro Man won’t come looking, anyway.”

She reeled back at Minion’s tone. She… didn’t think she’d ever heard him talk like that, so angry, so shortly.

“As for what’s happening…” He shrugged his mechanical shoulders. “You tell me, Miss Ritchi.”

“I tell you?” She scowled. “You’re the one who kidnapped me! How am _I_ supposed to tell you what’s going on?!”

He narrowed his eyes, unimpressed. “I’m not fooled, Miss Ritchi. You can’t play innocent with me. What happened between you and Sir?”

“Between me and… Oh.” Her eyes widened. Of course. Minion must’ve known all along, or at the very least, Megamind had told him now.

“Nothing,” she told him, her tone as emotionless and cutting as she could get it. “Nothing happened between us, Minion. He’s just an evil_ bastard_ who enjoys playing with people’s emotions, no biggie!”

Minion fluttered his fins, aggravatedly, large eyes narrowing in a frown. “Something must’ve happened between you two. He started meeting you because-- about his powers. But since last time you two met Sir’s been acting weird, and his powers are all messed up. So don’t lie to me, Miss Ritchi!”

She jerked back in the ropes that tied her down, startled by the sudden outburst. Minion’s fists were clenched, the fins on his back standing straight with tension.

“Oh,” she said, feeling a little dumb. “I thought he was-- I thought it was a _trick_, a-- a stupid joke.”

Minion deflated a little, making a motion like cocking his head. “His powers?” he asked, sounding genuinely confused.

“No! Those were-- You can’t _fake_ those, not with the trouble he was having with them.” She shook her head, the motion jerky with frustration. “No, I mean the-- _you know_!”

“I _don’t_ know!” Minion snapped back, flapping his fins to underline the statement. “_He_ won’t tell me, and _you_ won’t tell me! But you’re both angry and upset, clearly, and I don’t know how to _help him_! So just _tell me_, Miss Ritchi, and maybe I can help you both!”

“He didn’t _tell you_?” she asked, somewhat incredulously. “I mean, I figured-- Doesn’t he tell you everything, since you’re, you know, his henchman? His-- His best friend?”

“I wish,” he said, dryly. “You’d be surprised, Miss Ritchi, by how many things Sir prefers to keep to himself.”

“But his powers weren’t one of those things?” Only his-- his apparent crush on her? Only that, he found so unimportant that he didn’t even bother to tell his best friend? His _only_ friend, she was pretty sure.

Minion shrugged. “Hard to hide them, especially since I saw him get hit. You didn’t see the immediate backlash, Miss Ritchi, but I assure you, it was bad.”

“Oh.” She hadn’t even thought about how Bernard’s accidental power acquisition might’ve happened in reality. She had just figured that it had all been a trick from the start; that Megamind’s plan was fake, that he’d given himself powers like Wayne on purpose. “So then, why keep them? He doesn’t exactly _need_ powers like Metro Man, does he?”

“He didn’t have a choice.” Minion sighed, shifting a little uncertainly, a little fidgety. “The bullet hit him, the one from the infusion gun. It gave him Metro Man’s powers, like intended, but he had designed it for human use.”

“So that wasn’t a lie?” she asked. “He really _did_ plan on giving someone powers, on making a new hero?”

Minion nodded, then said, bitterly, “Yes. I tried to talk him out of it, but he insisted. A villain isn’t a villain without a hero to fight, he said.”

“Oh,” she repeated, pieces of the puzzle shifting in her head. Megamind hadn’t made a false plan to trick her. He hadn’t wanted the powers himself. So then why… “Why didn’t you remove them, then? Couldn’t you just make a-- a _de_fusion gun, or something?”

“No.” Minion shook his head. “The infusion gun had a defusion mode, too, but we couldn’t use it. The capsule was intended to be used on a _human_, not an alien – not one like Sir.”

“What-- What would’ve happened?” She licked her lips. Regretted asking in the first place. “If you’d removed them anyway?”

“He would’ve died,” Minion answered, flatly. “He got to pick between uncontrollable powers and death.”

“So I was the best alternative?” She tried not to sound as bitter as she felt, but…

“Oh, no, not like that!” he insisted, waving his hands around. “He had to keep the powers, obviously, but as for figuring them out… Well, it was an obvious choice! You were the best person for the job, and we both knew we could… rely on you, so to say.”

She frowned, feeling put-off. “The best person, because I knew Wayne best?”

“Because you’re one of the smartest people we know,” Minion said simply, so honest it hurt. “Because Megamind considers you to be _the_ smartest person he knows. And, yes, because you know a lot about Metro Man, but not because you dated him, but because you are perceptive, and sharp, and see what others do not.”

“Oh.” She felt herself blush, the compliment so easily given and clearly so, _so_ honest. “I… I don’t know what to say, Minion. I’m really not all that-- all that special.”

“Nonsense.” He flapped a hand, fluttering his fins at the same time. “No need to be self-conscious, Miss Ritchi. You are allowed to accept compliments, you know!”

“Yes, well.” She shrugged uneasily. “It’s a little weird to be told that by my kidnapper, after learning my _other_ frequent kidnapper made up a false identity just so I would help him.”

“Ah, right.” Minion walked closer, suddenly, and crouched down next to her. She jerked away from him, but before she could protest the ropes around her loosened and fell down. “I apologize, Miss Ritchi. I wasn’t sure what else to do.”

“You could’ve just _asked_, you know.” She rolled her shoulders, a little stiff but not pained; Minion and Megamind had long learned how to tie a hostage up without hurting them. “If Megamind could disguise himself with his watch, why couldn’t you?”

“Sir has the only one,” Minion stated simply, and, well, that’s fair. “It wouldn’t have fit me.”

“Actually, I think I might’ve broken it, too, last time I spoke to him.” She laughed a little uncertainly. “I hit him in the head with a champagne bottle, and some of it might’ve gotten onto the watch.”

Minion shot her an exasperated look she usually only saw him aim at Megamind, and she couldn’t hold back her laugh. “Sorry, sorry! I was just so-- so startled to see him, you know?”

“I suppose I can’t blame you.” Minion rolled his eyes, but the corner of his mouth tilted up a little. “Although I still don’t really understand _what_, exactly, happened.”

“I guess I owe you an explanation, since you explained your side of this whole thing. Or, well, Megamind’s side, I suppose.” She stood up, stretching her arms and feeling her spine click. “So we’ve been meeting a bunch, right? And we met again, and I told him that I had finally figured out Megamind’s plan.”

“Uh huh.” Minion nodded, slowly. “The… ‘create a new hero’ plan?”

“Yes, exactly! And we had agreed, pretty early on, that Bernard was going to fight Megamind. Which he hadn’t been really enthusiastic about, and I guess I see why now.”

She swallowed, then trucked on, not wanting to get caught up in that whole thing again. “So! We compromised, and said that he wouldn’t fight Megamind until we knew the plan. And now I did, but he was trying to scrabble out, like he’d lost all his courage all of a sudden. So I… I tried to comfort him, to talk him into doing it anyway.”

“And then?” Minion asked, after she’d paused for too long.

“And then… Well, I held him by the arm. And I… I tried to, to follow his arm down. To hold his hand, you know?” Minion nodded, and she continued. “But along the way I guess I accidentally… hit the watch? Or whatever button made it work, because suddenly I was holding onto Megamind’s wrist instead of Bernard’s.”

“Ah.” After a moment Minion nodded. “And then you… told him you weren’t interested in him?”

“Yes,” she said, her gut freezing with dread suddenly. “He… told you about that?”

Minion shrugged, looking unsure. “He… alluded to it. Sir has… Sir likes to exaggerate the truth.”

She snorted despite herself.

“So you _did…_ turn him down?” Minion carefully asked. “Because of… who he was?”

“I-- I don’t have to explain myself!” she snapped back, clenching her fists. “I’m allowed to turn down whoever I want, no matter the reason! But, for your interest, no! I turned him down because he _lied_ to me, for weeks on end! Because the person I thought he was didn’t _exist_!”

Minion jerked back, backing up a step like she posed any kind of actual threat. “I’m sorry, Miss Ritchi, I didn’t mean to imply--”

“I know,” she sighed, anger seeping out of her as soon as it had come. “I know, Minion, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to shout. But it’s just-- It’s hard not to feel _betrayed_, you know? When you think you know someone, and then discover you don’t know them at all?”

“I… suppose?” He shifted uneasily, like he didn’t really know. “But I guess I see now. Why Sir was so upset, I mean.”

Her heart clenched again. He really… “He was upset because he thought I told him no because, what, he’s an alien?”

“It wouldn’t be the first time,” Minion muttered lowly and, oh, well. She supposed she should’ve figured as much.

“Well, that wasn’t it.” She licked her lips, then asked, uncertainly, “And _he_ really didn’t try to trick me? He really… really meant it?”

“Why, of course!” Minion puffed up in offense. “Why would he-- Sir isn’t the type to _lie_ about such things! What kind of despicable person would lie about caring about someone!”

She raised a brow. “You two _are_ supervillains.”

“Yes, well, even _we_ have standards, Miss Ritchi.” He continued to stare her down, looking rather offended.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry.” She waved her hands in a calm-down motion. “I didn’t mean to imply anything, Minion. Just… wanted to be sure.”

He nodded understandingly, posture relaxing. “Of course. Thank you for your time, Miss Ritchi, and for… the talk. It was very illuminating, and most helpful.”

“I-- Yes. Yes, it was.” She swallowed, her throat feeling parched dry all of a sudden. “I’d… better get going. The lair is quite a bit away from my apartment, after all.”

“Ah. We’re not… at the lair.” He ducked down under her sharp gaze. “Sir hasn’t left the lair since-- since _you know_! But this warehouse is much closer to the city,” he added cheerily.

She blinked at him, then shrugged. “Alright. Well, I should still get going.”

“Oh, of course!” Minion extended one hand in a seemingly random direction. “The exit is just that way.”

“Right. Thanks, Minion.” She nodded a goodbye at him, then stiffly walked in the indicated direction.

It was a good thing that it left her in a quiet part of town, because she really, _really_, wanted the peace and quiet right now. She had… things to think about.

* * *

Megamind sighed, idly spinning the desk chair he sat on around. He was spinning so fast he couldn’t see the lab beyond a many-colored blur. Which was nice, because this way he could pretend he _didn’t_ have those obnoxious superpowers.

He really thought he’d gotten a pretty good handle on them, but it was like… like they’d gotten reset, after the whole debacle with Roxanne. Like he was starting over from scratch, but now _without_ her help.

And that was a pain, yes. A massive, incredible, unbelievable pain. But what hurt more was… was Roxanne’s reaction. Her upset.

Because… because he didn’t usually _hurt_ her. He kidnapped her, yes, very often! But he designed his deathtraps, his tricks and his plans, with every necessary safety precaution. The only danger Roxanne was ever in was brought by Metro Man, not him. And, clearly, she knew it too. If she thought she’d been in real danger she wouldn’t have been so easy in their interactions, so casually fearless.

But now… _now_, he had really hurt her.

Of course he’d known that she would be upset if she ever found out the truth behind ‘Bernard’, behind his disguise. But he thought… Well, he hadn’t thought about it much, to be honest, had preferred to stow away those thoughts and deal with them some other time, but… but he had been sure that it wouldn’t have ended up like _this_. Had been sure that, as shocked and surprised she might’ve been, there would be no real _hurt_.

He hadn’t realized… he hadn’t realized that _she_ had cared, too. He thought that it had just been him. That he was the only one who felt a happy thrill in his chest whenever Roxanne laughed, the only one who eagerly awaited the text to meet again, the only one who-- who melted when she called him partner.

But he hadn’t been. And he hadn’t realized, not until he’d-- not until he’d blown his chance.

If he’d known… _Oh_, if only he’d known!

Well, he didn’t quite know what he _would_ have done if he’d known, but he was sure he wouldn’t have blown it like this. Would’ve… Would’ve…

Ah, whatever! It didn’t matter what he would’ve done, because he couldn’t go back and change it! It was too late now. As long as he was a villain, he wouldn’t win.

Because the villain didn’t win. The villain didn’t get the girl. The villain, the bad guy, could only lie and trick and hurt. Not love, not care. Not feel – not genuinely.

He placed his feet back on the ground, the chair grinding to a halt.

That was it! As long as he was the bad guy, he couldn’t-- he couldn’t improve on himself.

But who said he _had_ to be a bad guy? Because, well…

Hadn’t he made the infusion gun to create a hero? Wasn’t that what these powers had been intended for in the first place?

Was-- Was that why they were acting up now? Because, all this time, he hadn’t intended them to be used for evil? After all, every time he’d met with Roxanne, he knew he couldn’t use them as, well, himself. _Megamind_ didn’t have powers. _Bernard_ did. And _Bernard_ was training to be a hero, to fight evil.

So maybe… maybe that was what he was supposed to do with them?

What was it that Wayne had said again, when they’d last spoken? That it had taken him a long time to find his calling, and maybe it was about time that Megamind found his own? That his powers helped him do what was best for him, not what he _thought_ was best for him?

As much as he hates admitting it, maybe Wayne had been right. Maybe his powers _were_ intended to be used by a hero. Maybe he was supposed to be a hero, not a villain!

After all… What were the chances that this would all happen? The chances that _he_ would be the one hit by the bullet? The chances that its effects would be twisted like _this_, that he would be unable to revert it, but otherwise be fine?

What if this had all been intended this way? What if _this_ was what he’d been destined for, all these years?

He laughed. He wasn’t sure _why_, what emotion it was in, but he laughed, the sound echoing throughout the lair.

All this time… All this time he’d been the bad guy, thinking it was what he was supposed to be. But he _wasn’t_. Now all he had to do was-- was clear his reputation! Show the people of the city his wondrous powers, so much like Metro Man’s yet his own, and that would be all!

He threw back his head, still laughing, leaning over the back of his chair. He’d finally found his purpose in life, his destiny!

A snap behind him, and suddenly he toppled over and landed on the floor. He rolled back onto his feet, startled, to look at the cause.

The back of his chair had snapped. He’d, accidentally, used too much of his super strength.

“Oh,” he said quietly, picking up the part that had snapped off. He thought-- He’d been sure that he would get control over his powers again, now that he knew what they were for. Wasn’t that why they’d worked so well with Roxanne? Because she’d been training him to be a hero?

Bright blue filled his vision for a short moment, and he jerked backwards, startled. With a clunk the now-frozen chair back landed on the ground. He hadn’t even noticed he’d been building up to use his laser eyes until they’d already activated.

That had… that had never happened. Even all the way at the start, he’d always had at least _some_ warning.

But _why_? Why were his powers even _worse_ now? Shouldn’t they have gotten better, now that he was going to use them for good, rather than evil? Wasn’t that the whole point?

He narrowed his eyes, glaring at the floor in front of him. The lasers came, again, with almost no notice. Created great swatches of frozen floor and ice everywhere he looked.

This wasn’t… This couldn’t be right. Surely he couldn’t go out like this? No one would believe him if he declared himself a hero like this! He was doing more damage now, by accident, than he ever had as a villain!

It just-- It just didn’t make _sense_. Wayne said that _his_ powers – and likely Megamind’s as well – worked best for whatever was best for them, not what they_ thought_ was best for them. But wasn’t that being a hero, for him? He’d always been a villain. His entire _life _had been structured around being the bad guy.

Although… he had never really thought about using his powers for… for evil, had he? Minion had. Minion had looked at the way he used his powers around the lair, as he struggled to come to grips with them, as he tried to learn to control them, and commented on how useful they would be. “Oh Sir, you spotted that brainbot we had lost!” and “oh Sir, how useful this would be to avoid injuries” and “now you won’t have to worry about the hoverbike being too loud”.

But he? He himself? He had never considered how he could use his powers for evil.

Because there was no point. Because he’d already given up on evil, without his nemesis. Because there had been no _fun_ in being the bad guy, if Wayne wasn’t there to fight him, if Roxanne wasn’t there to banter with.

The city had just _accepted_ it. Besides Roxanne, and himself, no one had stood up. No one had filled the gap to become a hero to oppose him, to fight the great evil of Megamind.

He had been too… too _normal_. Megamind, supervillain, had spooked around their city for years. And he’d never hurt a civilian.

They hadn’t stood up to him because they hadn’t felt _threatened_. They needed something-- something to shake them up, something _scarier_.

Like a super-powered supervillain. Like a super-powered _Megamind_.

He could _feel_ his powers settling again. A restless thrum of energy he hadn’t even realized existed until it quietened again.

Megamind cackled again, back arched and head thrown back.

Oh, how good it was to be back!

“Minion!” he shouted, feeling the power flowing under his skin, the sound of his evil laughter echoing through the lair. “Prepare the brainbots! We’ve got work to do!”


	8. Live this life before I die

Roxanne sat behind her desk, staring at her computer screen without really taking in any of it. She couldn’t stop thinking. _Hadn’t_ stopped thinking, really, since her talk with Minion.

She had thought that Megamind had tricked her, as Bernard, and maybe he had, a little. But his care, his feelings… how distraught he was over the state of the city and how upset it made her…

All of that had been genuine.

And he hadn’t wanted his powers. He’d said as much before as Bernard, of course, but he really, _really_, hadn’t. _She_ had shot the gun. _She_ was the reason why he had those powers.

He was still to blame, too, of course. If he hadn’t made the gun it wouldn’t have happened in the first place.

But, well. Making a new hero isn’t really a _bad guy_ move, is it? Pushing them on someone who doesn’t want them, yes, but the rest? Wanting to train them, to guide them into being a _good_ hero?

A slamming door startled her out of her introspection, and her eyes snapped up to her boss, who had just stormed into the room.

“Megamind’s back in business,” he said, voice low. She felt her stomach clench even before the man added, “And he’s got superpowers.”

“I’ll go,” she told him, already getting up and grabbing her coat. “Where is he?”

“Downtown.” He walked along her, matching her frantic pace. “But it’s dangerous, Roxie, I can’t send--”

“I’m going.” She paused so she could look him in the eye, so she could convey how serious she was. “Don’t send Hal, or anyone else, if you don’t want to. But I’m going, and I’m going _now_.”

He nodded, meekly, and didn’t stop her when she turned around again.

It was her fault. Megamind had stopped hiding, because there was no _reason_ to hide anymore. Minion said that Megamind had been moping in the lair, but clearly he’d gotten tired of it. Had decided to go back to his old ways and relieve his upset that way.

Except that, now, he didn’t have to rely on his inventions anymore. Now, it wasn’t a game to play with Metro Man, a show of strength where civilians didn’t even get hurt.

Now, it was for real.

The van felt sluggish as she raced to downtown. At least traffic wasn’t too bad; people might not have been fleeing just yet, but they definitely weren’t going _towards_ the suddenly super-powered villain.

Spotting Megamind was easy enough, once she’d gotten close. He was flying above the streets, the shiny inside of his cape catching the lights as it flapped in the winds.

The lasers he kept shooting made it easy, too.

She looked around, but the street seemed empty. Windows were closed, curtains drawn closed, and there was no one on the street besides her and Megamind, who was too busy freezing stuff to the floor to notice her.

Taking a deep breath, she steeled herself. Then she shouted, “Megamind!”

He looked up immediately, the lasers cutting off as he did. The blue drained out of his eyes, leaving them that characteristic vibrant green.

“Roxanne?” he asked, a note of confusion and uncertainty to his voice.

“Yes, me!” She stormed forward, since he was only lowering himself to the street, not flying towards her. “What do you think you’re doing?!”

He frowned, puffing up his chest with a defensive air. “What does it matter to _you_, Miss Ritchi?”

Cold poured through her, for just a short moment. Then it was replaced by the heat of anger, and she shoved Megamind, hitting him in the chest. She was pretty sure that he only moved because he was 1. not expecting it, and 2. flying, but it felt good anyway.

“What does it matter to me? _What does it matter to me?_ What do you _think_ it matters to me?! You’re wrecking the city!”

“Oh no, not the _city_,” he mocked, and, for some reason, it sounded much nastier than normal. “How dare I, incredibly handsome supervillain, wreck the city?”

“Don’t play games with me, Megamind.” She tried to shove him again, but he elegantly dodged her. Damn his enhanced agility! “You’ve been so good! You-- You cleaned up the city, and you made things _better_. Why are you doing this?”

“Why?” he jeered, a lip curling up into a snarl. “_Why_? I think you know _very well_ why, Miss Ritchi!”

“Stop calling me that!” she snapped back, fists curling. She wished she had another trophy, or a bottle of champagne, to throw at his massive and unbelievably _stupid_ blue head. “You’ve been calling me Roxanne for weeks, Megamind! Don’t act like none of that happened!”

“Oh, how could I!” He gestured at himself, at the damage he’d caused using his powers. “How would I have learned to use this powers without _you_, Roxanne? How would I have found the _truth_ behind my destiny without you, without Wayne?”

“_Wayne_?” she repeated, incredulously. “What does he--” She snapped her mouth shut as realization struck. “He knew! He _knew_ who you were, and he didn’t even--”

Megamind threw his head back and cackled, but it was his evil laugh, not the soft one she’d been hearing from Bernard.

She didn’t knew she could miss a laugh so much.

“Yes, he knew!” Megamind said, finally. “He knew, and he didn’t even try to stop me! You know what he told me?”

Faintly, she shook her head, and he leaned in close, breath cool against her skin. “He said that our powers work best when we do what’s _good_ for us, not what we _want_ to do.”

He laughed again, backing away.

“So that’s what this is?” she asked him, loudly. “You’re _showing off_ how good your powers are when you’re using them for evil? So that, what, he’ll come back?”

Megamind stopped laughing immediately, face falling as he refocused on her. “Showing off for him? Ha, he wishes!” He smiled, but it felt lifeless, dishonest. “No, I’m showing the people of this city why they should be _afraid_. I’m showing them why _I_ rule this city!”

“You rule this city because Wayne _let you_.” She cocked an eyebrow at him. “And I bet that, whatever he told you back then, it wasn’t _‘use your powers to wreck the city’_.”

“What, exactly, was said doesn’t matter.” Megamind huffed, narrowing his eyes at her. She would feel scared, she thought, if it had been anyone else. But Megamind never hurt her. She didn’t think she _could_ be scared of him. Really, truly, scared.

“Of course it does!” Unthinkingly, she reached forward, fingers digging into the fabric of his suit. She pulled him in closer, surprising them both. “Megamind, just _think_! If your powers could only be controlled if you were evil, then why did they work all that time while we were working together? What-- What happened to my _partner_, Megamind?”

He looked at her for a long moment. His eyes were wide, startled. Then they narrowed, and he effortlessly brushed her hands off of him, floating away from her. “Your _partner_ doesn’t exist, Roxanne. He never did.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she snapped back, stepping forward. He backed up, keeping the distance between them the same. “He might not _look_ like I thought he did, and his name might not have been the same, but the _basics_ are still the same! It was _you_, Megamind, all that time! It was _you_ who did all those nice things, who fixed up the city and who made things better!”

“All for entirely selfish reasons, I assure you,” he snarled, his fists clenched. “And I regret ever doing it!”

“So that’s it?” she asked, her own hands curling into fists as well. “You’re just giving up? Pretending it never happened?”

He laughed, humorlessly, looking down at her from where he floated. “I’m the bad guy. I don’t save the day. I don’t fly off into the sunset, and…” he paused for a moment, then said, “and I don’t get the girl.”

She opened her mouth, but he flapped a silencing hand. “I’m going home.”

And before she could actually say anything, he did. He shot up, flying off so quickly he would’ve missed anything she could’ve said.

“Oh,” she managed, long after he was gone.

Well, _that_ didn’t quite go as intended.

* * *

Megamind hadn’t made any more appearances after their talk.

Roxanne wasn’t sure if that was good news or not.

Objectively, she _knew_ that this was good. Megamind was always a potential threat to the city, even if he never hurt anybody with his inventions. Megamind with powers was… well, a lot more dangerous.

But subjectively, she couldn’t help but worry. He clearly hadn’t been _happy_. He didn’t seem like he _enjoyed_ being a supervillain, no matter how much he seemed to love the show, the dramatics.

He looked, sounded, like he’d been _forced_ to become a villain. And maybe he _had_. She wasn’t sure how much of what he’d told about his past was true, but… but if Wayne had always had powers, maybe Megamind had just slowly but surely shifted into a position to oppose him? Not good rising to fight evil, but the opposite?

‘Bernard’ had never had friends in school, he’d said. And he had looked at the school building like-- like he’d recognized it. Like he had gone there, in the past, attended the same school as Wayne.

Good rises to fight evil. But what if evil was just an innocent alien, thought different because he was smart, because he was clever.

Because he was different.

What if evil only became evil to protect himself? Who made a show of it all, who was so into the theatrics of it, just so no one could tell he never really _wanted_ this?

What if evil was never really evil, because he never hurt innocents? Who only ever kidnapped hostages who could handle themselves? Whose damages just _happened_ to fix themselves if they were irreparable for the city itself?

Megamind was the bad guy. But he was never really _evil_, was he?

Bernard had been a good man. He’d been kind, and sweet, and _genuine_. And Bernard was Megamind.

So if… So if Megamind was, underneath all his hurt, kind, and sweet, and caring… If he was forced into the role of a bad guy by Wayne, who no longer wanted to be the good guy…

Then why did he have to _stay_ the bad guy? He’d implied that it was because of something Wayne said, about their powers, but what did _Wayne_ know? Hadn’t they already established that Megamind’s powers were his own, and not necessarily like Wayne’s? So who said that _this_ worked the same, too?

And, sure. Maybe becoming the good guy wouldn’t be that easy. It _definitely_ wouldn’t be. It would be hard work, and slow going, convincing the city that it was genuine, that he meant it.

But wasn’t everything worth having hard to get? Wouldn’t his happiness be worth the effort?

She just had to convince him. She just needed to talk to him.

And, lucky for her, she knew where he lived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is short, sorry! But the next one is super long and couldn't be cut smaller, so it was either this, or a really _really_ long one.


	9. (not gonna stop 'til I see glory, see glory, see glory)

The lair, when she gets there, is… quiet. Admittedly, it hadn’t been very loud last time either, but it felt… different, now. She knew how she had gotten to the exit last time (_led by Megamind_, her mind whispered, _after he’d caught her when she’d almost fallen into the alligator pit_), and it wasn’t too difficult to trace back her steps.

Well, that was assuming that Megamind was somewhere close to that idea cloud, but that seemed to be the main part of the lair anyway.

As she moved through the lair, she was so focused on getting to him, on talking to him, that she’d forgotten something very important.

And she hadn’t realized, until a brainbot flew down in front of her and bowged at her.

Roxanne stopped, watching it cautiously. It blinked its singular eye.

“Uh,” she said, after a long moment where nothing happened.

“Bowg,” the brainbot replied. Several brainbots around them repeated the noise, lowering themselves until they were at eye level with Roxanne.

They weren’t chasing her out yet, which was… good, right? Different, yes, but not necessarily bad.

“I just want to talk to Megamind,” she told the machines, doing her best not to feel silly for it. Megamind talked to them too, right? So they must be smart enough to understand. “He’s been upset, right? I just want to help.”

The brainbots blinked at her again. Then they shifted, sharing glances. They looked like they were holding a silent conversation, but she wasn’t sure if they were capable of sharing thoughts like that. Maybe they were doing it like humans were.

“Bowg,” they chorused. Then they parted, forming a path for her to walk through.

As she walked past them, most split off entirely, flying off or staying in place. Only one continued to follow her, blinking its glass eye at her.

“Are you coming along to keep an eye on me, or to lead me to Megamind?” she asked it, raising a brow. She thought she recognized the decorations of this one. In fact, she was pretty sure that this was the brainbot that Megamind had in his lap during the last kidnapping. During… When he’d taken over.

“Bowg!” It overtook her, flying down the path. It kept its speed low enough for her to keep up with it, though.

She followed it, although she paused at the end of the path to look into the larger room. The red curtains were parted, but the idea cloud behind it had been disassembled. A few strands still hung, their ends tattered like they had been torn at. Had Megamind angrily ripped it all down?

The brainbot barked, halfway through the large room. She glanced around, but couldn’t see Megamind or Minion. A black car was parked there, though, the decorations so obviously Megamind’s work that it went from obnoxious to charming. It must be the invisible car, although she had, true to its name, never seen it.

A few other inventions were scattered around, like last time, but she wasn’t very interested in checking them out, now. She had other things to focus on.

She caught up with the brainbot, and it eagerly led her to a side-door.

“Bowg!” it barked, gesturing at the door with its hands.

“Thank you,” she said, hoping that it wasn’t a trap. But if the brainbots had intended ill, surely they would’ve just grabbed her when they had surrounded her?

Cautiously, she opened the door, peering through it first.

The good news was that there was no alligator trap. Or any kind of trap.

The bad news was that the room was _wrecked_. It was partially iced over, with those particular ice spikes she’d come to recognize as Megamind’s work. The rest of it wasn’t much better, clear damages from (accidental?) use of super strength.

It looked like… Well, it looked like the kind of damages Megamind kept leaving behind early on, as Bernard. When he would get frustrated over something – usually the powers themselves – and accidentally destroy things using them.

Well, it looked worse now, but she figured that that was just because he was limiting his damages to a single room.

But… But it had been forever since he had so little control over his powers. And he seemed to have had a pretty good grip on them earlier, when he’d attacked the city using them. So what was… What was this?

They couldn’t be leftover damages from when he had first gotten his powers. Some of it must’ve been recent, because the ice would’ve melted, otherwise.

She stepped inside, quietly closing the door behind her.

It wasn’t quiet enough. Behind an angled work table, a head popped up.

His green eyes grew wide when he saw her, and he scrambled up – literally – until he was perched on the upper edge of the desk. His expression was tense, the fingers curled around the desk shaking, but it must’ve been with emotion rather than strain, considering his super strength.

“Roxanne,” he breathed, and she wasn’t sure what emotion was in his voice, but she hoped it was good. He looked like he was moments away from either pouncing her, or running away entirely.

“Megamind,” she said, playfully stern the way she had been with Bernard a few times, “We didn’t get to finish our talk.”

Impossibly, his eyes grew even wider. “Our-- Our talk?”

“Yeah.” She tried to relax her posture, to come across casual. Like this was just one of their meetings, when he’d been Bernard. “You kind of ran away, Megamind. Didn’t even give me a chance to answer.”

He stared at her like she was crazy. And, admittedly, she felt a little crazy now. Who in their right mind would chase down an upset supervillain with seemingly uncontrollable superpowers?

Well, someone who was sure that the supervillain didn’t want to be a villain at all, she supposed.

Since it didn’t seem like Megamind was going to answer, she trucked on. Gesturing at the room around them, she said, concern in her voice, “Is this all… new damage? It’s been a while since it was so bad, wasn’t it?”

He shrugged, uncertainly, and seemed to hesitate over answering her. Finally, though, he replied, “After… last time, it was this bad too. When I was… uncertain.”

“Uncertain?” she parroted, frowning. “About what?”

Megamind glanced away, releasing his grip on the table somewhat so he could play with the spikes on the edge of his glove. Strangely, the motion reminded her of Bernard’s habit to fidget with his sleeves whenever he got upset or uncertain.

“About… being the bad guy,” Megamind finally confessed, quietly, not looking at her. “About… my destiny.”

“Oh,” she said, feeling hope bloom. He had thought it, too! She wouldn’t even really have to convince him, maybe, if he was already considering it. “That’s good, because that’s what I wanted to talk about too! Not, uh, the uncontrollable powers, but the ‘bad guy’ thing.”

This drew his gaze back to her, eyes narrowed. “What about it?” he sharply asked. “Haven’t I said enough about it yet? I get it! I’m the bad guy, and the bad guy--”

“Doesn’t get the girl, I know,” she cut him off, a little startled at his anger. “But, Megamind, you don’t--”

“Oh, don’t say it.” He shook his head, fingers clenching around the edge of the table. “I don’t want to hear it! It’s over, okay, over and done! I won’t consider such silly things anymore!”

“Silly? Oh, Megamind, no.” She stepped forward, though she wasn’t sure why, but stopped when his attempt at backing when almost toppled him off of the desk. “I didn’t-- I didn’t realize you had thought about it before. I was coming here to convince you to do it.”

“To… To do what?” He frowned at her. “To convince me to… stop being a villain?”

“Yes!”

“No,” he said dismissively, almost throwing himself off of his perch with how hard he was shaking his head. “No, I can’t, my powers--”

“Are _fine_, Megamind.” She stepped forward again, then snatched his wrist before he realized she was close enough to do so. She lifted his hand off of the desk, then gestured at it. “See? You didn’t even damage the desk.”

“What?” He craned his neck to look, look absolutely befuddled at the lack of damage. “But-- I--”

“Whatever is messing with your powers,” she said gently, “isn’t related to you being the bad guy or not, Megamind. Just because it worked a certain way for Wayne, doesn’t mean it works the same way for you. Remember? You don’t have the same powers.”

“Oh. But…” he trailed off, then looked at her hand on his wrist. “I don’t… understand. Before-- Before, they were… They got worse, when I decided not to-- not to be the bad guy anymore.”

She felt her own eyes go wide. “That’s why--”

He nodded. “When I decided I couldn’t, that it wouldn’t work, that I was meant to be the bad guy…”

“That’s when you went into the city,” she finished for him, finally understanding. “You don’t _want_ to be the bad guy, but your whole life you’ve been pushed into it, haven’t you? Or since you were a kid, at least. Right?”

Megamind blinked at her. Then he breathed out something almost a laugh, and said, “You really _are_ the smartest person I know, Roxanne.”

She blushed, the compliment seeming so much more sincere now than when he’d said it as Bernard. Like it was more meaningful, now. “It’s not-- It wasn’t anything special, Megamind. Anyone could’ve figured that out based on what you’ve told about your past.”

“No, they couldn’t have,” he insisted, “Because I know so many people who haven’t figured it out with more information than you had.”

“Yes, well…” She shrugged, suddenly aware of the fact that her hand was still wrapped around his wrist. “It’s… nothing special, Megamind. And it-- We were talking about something else, anyway, something more important.”

“Ah.” His eyes darted towards her hand, too, and he licked his lips. “Yes, I-- I hadn’t always… intended to become a villain, no.”

“Was it Wayne?” she asked, accusingly. “You went to school with him, right? Did he-- Was he why--”

“Yes,” Megamind said, then he made a face and shook his head, “No. Sort of. It’s complicated.”

“So explain it.” She looked at her hand again, then very deliberately slid it further down until she could link her fingers with his. “Tell me, Megamind, why you are so certain you can only be a villain.”

“I--” His eyes shifted to look at their interlinked hands. “It was… I was… always destined for… for something. But I didn’t know what. It’s--” He swallowed, heavily, like he was trying to get a lump through his throat. “It’s the last thing my parents said to be, before I left my planet.”

“Oh,” she breathed. She tightened her grip a little, comfortingly. “Was it… It got cut off, didn’t it? And you couldn’t… contact them to hear the rest?”

He laughed bitterly. “No. The entire planet, the entire _quadrant_, it’s gone. It was swallowed by a black hole. That’s why they sent me off.”

“Oh Jesus, Megamind.” She looked up at him, then swallowed her reservations and tugged at his arm. He hadn’t expected it, and toppled off of the table. Straight into her arms.

She still held his hand, but her other arm she had wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him against her. He stiffened, momentarily, and then suddenly melted against her, wrapping his own free arm around her too.

“I never-- I never knew, Megamind, I’m so sorry,” she told him, whispering the words to his neck.

“It’s… not something we like to talk about, Minion and I.” He let out a long breath. “And I’m not… I don’t think Wayne knows at all. What happened to his home.”

Inhaling sharply, she pulled back her head a little to look him in the eye. “You’re from the same planet?”

“No, no.” Megamind shook his head, also craning his head back. “But his planet was in the same quadrant. Minion and I are from the-- the same planet, but Wayne wasn’t. But it’s… I don’t think he knows, really. He doesn’t… His species, they’re very powerful, of course, but they don’t have the-- the incredible memory like mine or Minion’s.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, as genuinely as she felt. “I’m sorry, Megamind, that that happened to your planet. To your family. Is there… are there any traditions, anything you could try to recreate here?”

He exhaled noisily. “I… I can’t-- I wouldn’t know.” He shifted in her arm, fingers twitching, like he was considering pulling away entirely. But he didn’t. “I didn’t-- I didn’t live there for very long.”

“Oh.” She chewed her lip a little in thought. “I… guess I should’ve realized, if you attended the same school here on Earth as Wayne. And he grew up here, didn’t he? Did he leave before you?”

“No. We left at the same time.” Megamind looked up again, and she was pretty sure his eyes looked wetter than usual. “I don’t know about him, exactly, but… I was eight days old.”

She almost choked on her breath, and reeled back, never breaking the hug. “You were eight _days_ old?”

“Yes.” He laughed again, bitter chuckles. “I was eight days old and still living with my parents. How sad is that? Clearly, it was time to move on.” He paused, briefly, and she couldn’t even think of the words to comfort him. What _do_ you tell an alien whose entire planet was destroyed when he was alive for less than _two weeks_?

“So I set out to find my destiny,” Megamind continued, his tone forcefully cheery. “That was the day I met Mr--” He licked his lips. “The day I met Wayne. I almost got-- _I_ almost got the nice, cushy life, but his pod knocked mine off of its course.”

He shrugged, almost succeeding in looking casual, if it weren’t for the fact that she could _feel_ the tension in his shoulders, in the tightness of his fingers. “So instead I landed in the prison.”

“And you… were then fostered elsewhere, until you went to school with Wayne?” she guessed, she _hoped_, but if Megamind grew up believing he was destined to be a villain--

Megamind shook his head, and even if, somewhere deep inside, she’d expected it… she had hoped it wouldn’t be the case.

“You… _You_, a child barely a week old, landed in a prison and then… grew up there?” She tightened her hand around Megamind’s, but she didn’t know if she was comforting him, or if she was trying to receive comfort _from_ him. “And no one-- No one thought that that was a problem.”

“Wasn’t much they could do.” He shrugged weakly. “I was-- _am_ an alien. In the prison, no one could find me. Not until all the papers were ready, until I was able to defend myself if it came down to that.”

“Jesus,” she breathed, pulling Megamind against herself again, tightening the hug. “God, Megamind, I’m so sorry.”

“What-- What for?” He patted her on the back, hesitantly, like he wasn’t quite sure he was doing it right. “It wasn’t… It wasn’t your fault or anything.”

“Well, no, obviously not.” She pulled back a little again, meeting his eyes. “But I can still be sorry that you went through all that. It shouldn’t have happened.”

“Oh,” he said, subdued. “I-- Oh. I… I guess it’s alright.”

“It’s _not_,” she insisted. “Megamind, that’s horrible! And you haven’t even gotten to the _school_ part, which I’m sure wasn’t much better either!”

“Well, no, I guess it’s not.” He shifted, looking away briefly before looking back at her. “But I… As bad as it all was, Roxanne, at least… I got to meet you.”

She breathed in, sharply. He jerked in her arms, then flushed, blue skin turning purple.

She’d always adored his blush.

“That’s so sweet,” she muttered, and he stilled in her arms.

“You’re not… upset?” he asked, cautiously. He looked a little flustered, and very uncertain, but with a spark of hope in his eyes. “You don’t… Last time, you said--”

“I was confused, Megamind, and upset.” She glanced down at their hands, meaningfully, and he followed her gaze. “But I’ve had time to think about it since then. And you… I…”

She swallowed a lump away, pulling together all the confidence she could muster.

“I thought Bernard was very sweet,” she started, “He was so… so smart, but so caring. I loved spending time with him. And when it turned out that he didn’t exist, I was… upset. And angry, because I felt betrayed, because I-- I _loved_ him.

“But, Megamind. The man I fell in love with, over all those meetings, over the stress of figuring out superpowers and a supervillain’s plan, he _does_ exist.” She squeezed his hand, briefly, and leaned in even closer.

“That man is _you_, Megamind.”

“Oh,” he said. Then his eyes grew wider, his cheeks and ears flushing purple again, and he repeated, “Oh!”

His eyes darted to their hands, then back up to her face, her eyes, and he said, very carefully, “I… love you too, Roxanne.”

“Good,” she declared, and then pressed a kiss against his cheek. “I’m glad we agree about that.”

Megamind, impossibly, turned even more purple than before, the tips of his ears going completely pink. “I-- _oh_.”

She carefully tugged her hand out of his grip, raising it up to wrap both her arms around his neck. Then she leaned against him, sure that he could hold her weight.

“Then, we only need to figure out one more thing,” she whispered in his ear.

“What-- What’s that?” he mumbled, his eyes blown wide.

Roxanne turned her head a little so she could meet his eyes again. “I want you to be happy, Megamind. And you’re not happy as a supervillain, are you?”

He stiffened underneath her hands, and for a moment, she worried that she’d said the wrong thing.

But then he blew out a breath, and sincerely, said, “No, I’m not.”

She nodded, absently rubbing his upper arm. “That’s what I thought. How do you feel about being a hero, instead?”

“I--” He swallowed. “I think I would-- I think I would like that.”

“Good,” she agreed, pressing another kiss against his cheek, then pulling away so she wasn’t pressed against him anymore. “It probably won’t be easy though.”

“Nothing ever is,” he grumbled, derisively, but he didn’t sound as bitter as he did, before. “But I-- If it means I can… _We_ can…”

“We’ll do it together,” she assured him, taking his hand again. Then she froze as realization struck.

“What’s wrong?” Megamind asked, worriedly, picking up on her pause.

“Nothing, nothing. Just…” She smiled at him, chuckling a little. “Who’s telling Minion?”

Megamind blinked. Blinked again.

“Oh. Yeah. We should… go tell him.”

“Well, let’s get that over with,” she said as she pulled away from him. She walked towards the door, dragging him after her, still holding hands.

Then she opened the door and came to an abrupt halt.

“Bowg!” the brainbot in front of her said, wagging its limbs.

“Bowg,” all the other brainbots said, the whole cloud of them that hung behind the first one.

And, standing in the center of the cloud, Minion just raised one scaly eyebrow, his robotic arms crossed.

“Uh,” she said, her fingers tensing around Megamind’s, “Surprise?”

“Minion!” Megamind shouted over her shoulder, and she was pretty sure he was floating just above the ground to get the height required, “We’re gonna be the good guys from now on!”

Minion’s eyes darted to where she still held Megamind’s hand, and he blinked, slowly.

“I suppose I _did_ say that the bad guy couldn’t get the girl,” he mused, his eyes moving to look at her instead, “But this wasn’t what I had in mind.”

“But you’re not upset, right?” she asked, hand briefly tightening around Megamind’s.

Minion shook his head, grinning at her.

“Miss Ritchi, I think the effects are rather undeniable.”

And, well. With Megamind literally hovering over her shoulder… She couldn’t deny that.

They were happy, now.

**Author's Note:**

> While most of the altered superpowers were easy to think of, I got really stuck on a replacement for super speed. I didn't want to keep it, but coming up with a more Megamind-y replacement was really difficult. At first I gave him enhanced resistance, making him immune to things like heat, cold, and poisons, but I really didn't like that. Then for the longest time I had him with enhanced breathing, which allowed him to do things like breathe underwater, and which made him immune to air-based dangers (and dust). Then eventually I settled on enhanced agility, which is what it ended up as!
> 
> Anyway I hope you all enjoyed that thing, and please don't expect a whole lot of Megamind fic from me because this was my only brilliant idea, sorry! Also I'm always open to criticisms and people pointing out typos and such because English is hard and writing is even harder. (and writing _in_ English? yikes)


End file.
